7 comments

  1. IWasHere

    And so, I would go, somewhere beyond the horizon,
    To find my one forever, forgotten memory.
    The one I coated with diamonds and emery.
    I left it yonder, you see, deliberately so, ten years ago.

    Should I not care what anyone thought, especially you,
    I would bid all whom I know, Adieu.
    I would come and search to find,
    The one who resides within corners of mind.

    If I didn’t care what anyone thought,
    I would admit to myself, ten years are for naught,
    I would choose to remember those things I forgot.
    I would choose to remember those things I dare not.

    1. mcullen Post author

      Lovely, IWasHere. . . Provocative, intriguing. I like the visuals . . . coated with diamonds and emery.

    2. Karen Reid

      This is a profound poem, “And so, I would go, somewhere beyond the horizon, to find my one forgotten memory, the one I coated with diamonds and emory, I left it yonder, you see, deliberately so, ten years ago…”

      Except with the words “I would bid all whom I know, Adieu; I would come and search to find the one who resides within the corners of mind…I would choose to remember those things I forgot…”, I feel like I want to forget the one “residing within the corners of my mind.”

      The words here remind me of bad memories I “sugar-coated” when the reality was they were too ghastly to even remember, memories that surface when “the sun goes down,” memories that surface in nightmares, but that would be better forgotten.

      This poem reminds me of the lyrics from a Casting Crowns, song, “Waiting on the Night to Fall”:

      The words of Philippians 3:13 help me here, “This one thing I do, forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize up the upward call…”

      1. IWasHere

        Thank you so much for the good feedback. I love there verse you quoted. It feels very familiar to me, yet I know I have not heard it before.

        I lost the good with the bad when I left my country ten years ago. This is probably why there are those two extremes in this poem.

        I started out with the good, with the intention of writing about just that, but it seemed that alas, I could not carry it through the whole poem, as you pick up on it, the bad somehow crept in.

        How do I keep the focus, when writing? I am not very good at fictional writing, so a lot of it is driven by emotion. I struggle to shut off one part to focus on another, while writing.

        Any words of advice in that regard?

        Greatly appreciate your time.

        ~Ida

        1. mcullen Post author

          Hello IWasHere, It sounds like you have all the right ingredients for a freewrite, where you “just write.” Some people call it a stream of consciousness. The idea is to keep writing, don’t censor your thoughts as you write, don’t edit yourself as you write. One way to do this is to use “I remember. . . ” as a prompt. Set your timer for 20 minutes, or so. If you write too much, at first, you might become overwhelmed. Twenty or thirty minutes is a good length of time to write. Then take a break. Either go for a short walk, stretch, sip a drink, look out a window. Just move around. Then either continue writing, or take a longer break from writing. It’s easy to get overwhelmed with this deep kind of writing. You can click on “Archives” on the column to the right of this blog for more ideas on how keep focused while writing, especially October 2013. You can also click on “Just Write” for more ideas on how to . . . well. . . just write! You can email me with questions for more ideas. Best wishes, Marlene

        2. Karen Reid

          I thought your poem was lovely! It was the very paradox of your poem that was thought provoking; I did not mean to criticize it. And I’m happy you loved the verse I quoted, it’s from the Bible, Philippians 3:13. It’s my “sword of the spirit” when bad memories assail me. As Marlene says, “Keep writing.”
          And to that I add may God bless you.

          1. mcullen Post author

            Hmmmmm. . . Karen, your comments didn’t seem critical. They seemed like a thoughtful response to deep and meaningful writing.

Comments are closed.