11 comments

  1. Pat Tyler

    Random Words – Prompt 163: Turning bitter can be avoided by remaining cool, ignoring the elaborate mist under your arm where your peach deodorant failed, and turning to leave the room where you can stand bare beneath the vision of the night’s glorious moon.

    1. mcullen Post author

      Pat, what a delightful freewrite. . a boon to my Saturday morning! Thanks for posting.

    2. justinefos

      Pat, I DO enjoy your sense of play. You make me laugh1
      Thank You, I needed that

  2. morningstar19551

    She held the gin and tonic in her mouth, savouring the bitter quinine, the sour lime, until the ice-cold left, and then the bite of the gin in her throat. The muggy heat was suffocating. Atlanta was suffocating. She’d leave if she could. Mama would never permit it. Mama was suffocating. Mama’s vision was that she, Delta, would marry Steve in the Episcopal church on a Saturday afternoon in late October, by which time it might have grown cool.

    It wasn’t that Delta didn’t want to marry Steve. It was that Mama was creating an extravaganza, a Wedding of the Season, for her own triumph. A white wedding dress with a long lace train, bare shoulder and arm, elaborate up-do with tiny roses and pearls entwined for Delta, a half-dozen each of bridesmaids and groomsmen, before you counted Sissy as Matron of Honor and Steve’s brother Brett as best man. There would have to be a flower girl and ring-bearer too. Mama would like, no doubt, several flower girls, dripping peach rose petals on the carpet for the bride to crush under the kitten heels she’d need for all that standing. Having only one ring-bearer to pair up would stop that. =

    Delta suspected that Mama intended to order up even the phase of the moon for the wedding. She finished her drink, got up and fixed another, sighing as the mist of pouring tonic settled on her hand.

    1. mcullen Post author

      Wonderful vivid writing. I can see this scene, feel the cool ice, the lingering despair, the hint of a larger story. Thanks for posting. 🙂

      1. morningstar19551

        Thanks for the prompt! I had fun.

        1. mcullen Post author

          Wonderful! Hope you can post more. I enjoy your writing. ~Marlene

    2. justinefos

      You sent me back to August,1970, my first visit to Atlanta. No air-conditioning, so hot and sticky – and a Mama.
      So vivid. I loved the, “intended to order up even the phase of the moon for the wedding” I really experienced Mama’s personality through your writing.

  3. Leslie226

    Glancing through the plexiglass from her perch on the bridge, Susan stared at the bow of the boat. The hull seemed to slice through the water at a slow, steady pace. Elaborate splashes of color were created in the mist of the ocean spray. The engines rumbling provided unobtrusive background music to her inner dialogue. Wise mind challenged her to focus on the beauty in her line of vision, to be fully present. Although it was still daylight, the moon hung in the sky as though obscurely placed by the Creator. The ocean seemed to breathe as the swells rose and fell in a rhythmic pattern. Yet, she could not bear to leave her past behind. How easily her eyes glazed over as the tapes played the repeating loop. Her mood was somber as her angry mother filled the screen. Lined up along the refrigerator with her three sisters, wide eyed and full of fear – her outstretched arm, the cool shiny blade and mother’s threats to chop off her hand -until she pressed the pause. It was her choice, to continue to dwell in these ancient memories that haunted her, making her bitter or to practice mindfulness and live.

    She took a bite of a juicy peach, laughing as the skin tickled her tongue.

    1. mcullen Post author

      Leslie, your writing is sharp with strong verbs (glancing, slice, challenged) and good descriptive nouns (plexiglass, perch, hull). I love “elaborate splashes of color” and “engines rumbling provided unobtrusive background music.” I can feel that rumbling and see those splashes of color. And how fun to have the moon visible even though it was still daylight. It’s details like those that make your writing memorable. Good work! Thanks for posting. I look forward to reading more of your writing.

    2. justinefos

      Your description of the ocean breathing, the swells of the ocean, I could feel the mist and the movement of the boat.
      (and I get seasick – actually started to feel queazy)
      Love the moon up during the day, your descriptive style makes the scene so real. Turning off the screen – you had me riveted, to then realize it was in her minds eye.
      Then the juicy peach-her feeling the skin, rather than the juice was unexpected and fun. Very descriptive & real. I want to read more!

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