4 comments

  1. Lynn L

    I know that I am a good dog, good dog, good dog. My lady tells me all the time. She says, “Who’s a good dog?” And I bark, and she’s says, “That’s right, you’re a good dog,” and then she picks me up and gives me a bite of bacon or sausage or whatever she is having for breakfast. She always gives me the last bite. The last bite is mine because I am a good dog.

    When she leaves she says, “Guard the house!” and I am sad when she leaves. Sometimes I bark for her to come back, but when I hear the engine box go past the end of the street, I stop. I wait. Sometimes I mope, but then I remember that she said to guard the house, so I get up and trot from room to room. Sometimes I see a beetle or a fly, especially in summer, and they are not supposed to be in the house, so I bark and bark. I am a good dog. I am guarding the house. I hear banging on the ceiling and I bark at that too. And then the ringy noise starts and then I hear my lady’s voice coming out of the desk box, all tinny and high.

    “Bad dog, Charlie!” the box says. “Mr. Saylor needs to sleep. Be quiet now! Don’t be a bad dog.”

    Who has put my lady in the box? I jump onto the desk and smell it. Only old smells are there, not like when she is at home. I walk around the desk, smelling. Some things fall down, but that is not important. I must get my lady out of the box! Who put her in there? I will save her. I will open the box! I pick the box up in my strong teeth and shake it. It slips and flies against the wall. It is two boxes when it gets to the floor and I break them open with my teeth. It tastes bad but I don’t care. I must save my lady. I eat some too, just in case it is good.

    I don’t think that it is good. My belly hurts. My belly never hurts when my lady feeds me. If I get some of the regular food I will be better. My lady always tells me I am a good dog when I get supper, but first I have to sit. I go to the cupboard and sit the usual amount of time. I am a good dog. Then I scratch at the door with my claws until it opens. The good food is in a big box and I have to chew it open with my teeth. It tastes like the high-voice prison box. The prison box! I go back near the desk and bark at it some more. It does not move. It must be dead. I am a good dog.

    In the kitchen, the good food is on the floor. I sit again, just the right amount of time. Then I eat. I am a good dog. My lady always says, “What a good dog, cleaning up the mess,” when I clean up what she drops. I am very full, but there is more mess on the floor. I will clean it up. I am a good dog. But I don’t feel very good. When I mess in the house, I am not a good dog. I feel like I might not be a good dog very soon. My lady is angry when she sees a mess. I will hide the mess. I will hide it under the bed. I will be a good dog.

    Aah. I feel better. Lady will be home soon. She will be happy. I have been a good dog all day.

    1. mcullen Post author

      Omigosh! This is hilarious! I feel like I’m really hearing what the dog is thinking. Correction: What the Good Dog is thinking!

  2. marcyt

    I love this! I think you must have known my daughter’s dog. My favorite line: “I feel like I might not be a good dog very soon.”

  3. Kathy Myers

    Who’s a good dog, and who’s a good writer? You are Lynn.
    What makes this piece so good is that the sentences are paced like panting somehow. This captures the canine voice.The repetition of the good dog theme and the sequence of shenanigans make it extra funny. Find an illustrator and create a great children’s book. Have you ever read or seen the play “Sylvia”? The pooch has a starring role in this one too.

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