9 comments

  1. Ke11y

    Beef Stroppyoff

    Okay, I heard you: 1 tablespoon flour! Do all tablespoons come the same size? I’m just asking.

    1lb beef sirloin, cut into ¼ inch wide strips. Really, okay, I’ll need a tape measure. And why is it called ‘sirloin’? I’m not being stroppy at all, it’s a serious question. You want me to learn to cook, don’t you? I have to ask questions.

    2 tablespoons butter: My tablespoon still has flour in it. Okay, combine my tablespoon of flour with a pinch (how much is a pinch?) of salt and the 2 tablespoons of butter, and 1 tablespoon of tomato paste, and this whole can of beef broth…okay, there it goes, now what? A cup of sour cream…see, this is easy peasy! Cooking sherry? Weird, but okay, how much? 2 tablespoons…hmmm, might have been a little heavy-handed there. Okay, now what? Dredge the sirloin through mixture. Why? Oh, okay.

    Agh! Do you have a Band-Aid? How? You said to thinly slice a cup of mushrooms, and then half a cup of onions, and a clove of garlic; which is now red! Yes, the damn skillet is on. I never said cooking was easy, I just said anyone can do it! I’m ready…don’t get so stroppy…put 2 tablespoons of butter into skillet, done…and? Okay, sirloin going in…I know, I know, flip to brown. I’m pretty good, eh? Very funny!

    Okay, I’m adding onions and garlic…piece of cake…how long? 3-4 minutes. Tender only. Then? Okay I’m taking out meat and onions…okay, turning off heat! Im pretty good at this. I’m adding 2 tablespoons of butter, and mushrooms, okay. This tablespoon thing can get pretty old…okay three of those with flour going into skillet…stirring as we speak. Add Tomato, and do what? Pour in the cold beef stock. Back on the heat! Ignition! Yep, I’m stirring. Oh yeh, its thickening. Now what? Ah ha, thought so, return sirloin to skillet. Oops, nearly forgot the sour cream, okay all in! Damn! You’re right…okay sherry in, now I’m all in. Heat briefly…what does briefly mean? There you go. Like I said, there isn’t much to this cooking thing.

    1. mcullen Post author

      Love this. And I just happened to be eating a piece of gluten-free salted-caramel mousse cake while reading this. Your writing added sweetness and humor to my treat!

    2. heartmom

      Funny and (for a non-cook like me) very inspiring … I’m guess I’m not as stroppy as I thought 😉 Thanks Kelly

  2. heartmom

    I’m just crazy about champagne. Not only the taste, but the structure, the aroma, the presentation … it all comes together in such a complete way – it’s a smile in a glass. Not a grin, which is a frosty Belgian brew on a blistering day, or a snicker, which is a dirty martini with extra olives. It isn’t flirtatious, batting it’s eyes at you like a Cosmo, or a sweet yet shy, exotic Mai Tai. Champagne is an experience all it’s own, from the pop of the cork to the bubbles on your tongue. It’s a subtle smile, the kind that moves up your whole face, dimpled chin to sloping eyebrow.
    The cork flying off the top is the opening salvo. Real skill at cracking the bottle can leave a permanent mark in the kitchen ceiling, documenting the arrival of an effervescent friend.The champagne flutes stand at the ready, long elegant stems lined at attention, waiting to serve.
    The glug,glug, glug as the champagne is being poured – babbling, burbling, fizzing and twirling as the bubbles rise to the top and threaten to overflow. Waiting for that symphony to settle in the glass is my favorite part. It simmers and transforms from a riotous jig to a stately waltz – one crystal burst at a time.
    I always smell my champagne before I drink it – I’m sure I look pretentious, and couldn’t really tell you the difference in bouquets – I just like the way it reaches up to tickle my nose, playfully promising my tonsils a treat.
    That first sip … exquisite.It fills every corner of my mouth and bounces between the spaces in my teeth like wee silver pinballs. It wakes my throat, one tiny bubble after the other, bringing to life nerve endings that I never knew I had.
    How can something be so juicy and dry at the same time? So explosive and so poised in the same sip? So complex and so simple in one glass? Champagne is the Mona Lisa of liquids – ever a classic, ever a mystery, ever a work of art.

    1. mcullen Post author

      Brilliant writing! Your writing makes me want to open a bottle of bubbly and indulge! I have never heard drinks described so eloquently and acutely . . you definitely have a knack for creative writing! Love your gorgeous writing!

      1. heartmom

        Thanks Marlene … and don’t mind if I do – champagne is good at any time for any reason, even to celebrate a lovely compliment 🙂

        1. mcullen Post author

          🙂

  3. Ke11y

    It’s okay, Heartmom, it’s just a passing thing. The cure is Guinness!

    You’re a real talent.

    1. mcullen Post author

      Chuckling here. Maybe I should have a drink whilst contemplating what to fix for dinner.

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