Shel Silverstein’s Where the Sidewalk Ends “resonates because Silverstein wrote for the ear. Purposeful rhythm. Calculated pace. Challenging riffs. Delightful melodies. Words selected as much for their sound as their meaning.” —Jack Hamann, “For the ear — Writing with rhythm,” The Writer, July 2015
Tips to make writing stronger, inspired by Jack Hamann, “For the ear.”
- Vary pace – “bookend longer sentences with short, rhythmic declarations.”
- Use a thesaurus.
- Use alliteration (see below).
- Give weak verbs the boot.
- Omit unnecessary words, especially “the.”
- Read aloud. You’ll notice places that need tweaking.
Alliteration is a stylistic device in which a number of words, having the same first consonant sound, occur close together in a series: But a better butter makes a batter better.
Marlene’s Musings: Have fun with this. Choose a prompt and write. Then, revise, using the tips above.
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Some of my Favorite Memoirists
I had the pleasure of meeting Susan Bono after she spoke at the Redwood Writers several months ago. I purchased her book, What Have We Here, that afternoon, and I started reading it the next day.
I completely enjoyed her book, the writing was warm, just like talking with her. I wish I had the copy with me here in Wisconsin, so that I could refer back to specific points. I was in Cotati, CA when I read it, and passed it on to my very dearest friend who had a surgery on her shoulder, and needed a book that would not be too heavy as far as ounces vs. pounds. My friend has said how much she is enjoying Susan’s book.
My other favorite was my Aunt Thelma. She was 16 or 17 years older than my mother, Thelma was the Graham family historian who traced my Grandfather’s family back as far as 1670’s. His family was from Scotland. She also wrote about my grandfather, a delightful story. The problem with writing the story of your parent, and you have siblings is, they each have a different memory of their parent. In my family’s case, my mother and her two other sisters did not agree with what Thelma wrote, however, they didn’t take the time to write their own version of the father they knew. I think it would have been even more amazing to have had all four of the stories as each had remembered. That would be with the understanding that all four of the stories were an accurate history from the perspective of each daughter. Unfortunately, all the sisters have passed on.
Thelma wrote the story of their mother, my Grandma Anna. I didn’t hear anyone criticize Grandma’s story.
Thelma has some very funny stories about her and her sisters, at least those who were still on the farm in Fairmead, CA.
Fairmead was set up to lure unsuspecting, people with all kinds of grass, rather turf, to make the area look like it could grow grass, and few fruit trees, to look like…well you get the picture. All of the plants, grass, except weeds, died not took long after my Grandparents moved to one of their spec homes. The one thing that Grandpa could raise to sell was honey. It was during WWI, and the armed services purchased all that he could raise and process. When the war ended, so did their income. My mother was born there at their home, when my Grandmother was 45. So, it appears that Grandpa was also very good and growing Baby Girls.
They finally walked away from the farm and went to Yosemite where he was one of the carpenters to build the Ahwahnee Hotel. They lived in a cabin in Yosemite Valley and were there during my mother’s ages of 4-6 years old. Thelma worked in the gift shop at the hotel. Then went to college.
Grandpa was an amazingly talented carpenter who wanted to be something besides a carpenter. This is even after working at the “Winchester Mystery House.” – I don’t know what year. When I asked him about her, he did say that Mrs. Winchester was, “a very different woman.” Grandpa was always kind and gentle, and had been raised in the Friends Faith.
Before the 1906 Earthquake in San Francisco, which devastated so many towns in Northern California, he was living in a tent on the grounds of Forest Lawn, a cemetery for the Los Angeles area. He made sure that the grounds were kept beautiful and manicured. It wasn’t just him in that tent, but also, Anna and their first daughter, Lucille. Within a week after the earthquake, he was contacted by his brother, Colum, who was also a carpenter, and told to come to San Francisco, they needed all the carpenters they could find. Thus, he took the family (probably by train) to Northern California.
Grandpa had the most wonderful deep, soft voice, he loved to tell stories about the places that he worked, and things that he did, and especially the garden he created in the back yard of the home he built for Grandma in Santa Barbara, CA. When I would visit, after I decimated his raspberry crop, he would greet me with his wonderful smile and ask, “Well, sweetheart, did you find the raspberries that I left for you?” He would give me a big hug.
I loved to go up to the attic and play with the model he had made of their house, to show Grandma, as well as the builders, contractor what it would look like when finished.
His last job had been as a custodian at an elementary school in Santa Barbara. Happily, because of that job, he ended up with a pension when he retired. With that he was able to continue to support his two biggest loves, Grandma and his garden.
My mother, her nick name to Thelma was Bobbie Rose, though Mother’s name was, Barbara Rose. Alzheimer’s took her 8 years before she passed from this earth at the tender age of 77. I find her loss to be very sad, as well as painful.
Thelma was the last Graham Sister to leave this world. She was 94 years of age, I miss her, her wisdom, and her laugh.
Justine
mcullen Post author
Justine, beautiful portrait of loving, gentle people. You have painted their written portraits with wonderful detail. I enjoyed all the details you wove into this. Good job telling us their stories.