Prompts

Random words plucked from a poem . . . Prompt #244

Random words (plucked from a poem) as a writing prompt. Tell a story, truth or not, with these words:

Creek.Karen heavy               linger        delicate

footprints      flat             maroon

foam                hard          perfume

Or use the photo as a writing prompt.

Set your timer for 15-20 minutes. Write. Polish. Post your writing on The Write Spot Blog.

Photo by Karen Bobier

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4 comments

  1. Lisa

    She collapsed onto her knees at the edge of the stream, her eyes burning from the tears and her chest about to burst from running the half mile or so from the house. The sound of the rushing water was calming and soon she caught her breath but the tears started again when her mind found her memories of this place. “You used to bring me here” she thought to herself biting her lip against the pain brought on by the memory. She was thinking about her father. She loved him so much as a child but things had gone off track somewhere along the line as she got older. Now she feared she’d never see him again. She loved him and she hated him at the same time. For a moment she allowed herself to let go of the pain and anger while staring into the water. She rolled off of her knees onto her butt glancing up into the trees noticing a few birds chirping. The leaves were rustling gently in the breeze. The sun was going down and it was starting to cool off quickly. Closing her eyes she took in a deep breath letting it out with the loudest, hardest scream she could until she ran out of air and was forced to stop and breathe again. A twig snapped behind her. Startled she gasped trying to catch her breath. She snapped her head around to see a young man about her age standing behind her. She had never seen him before and by the looks of his backpack and clothes, she knew he wasn’t from town.
    “You OK?” he asked cautiously not making a move towards her. “I heard a scream.”
    “I’m fine” she said trying her best to sound tough. She brushed her hair away from her eyes with the back of her hand and wiped her nose on her sleeve. “You can keep going wherever you’re headed.”
    “OK, if you’re sure “he said adjusting his pack bit. “Your scream” he started then hesitated.
    “What about it?” she snapped. “God when was he going to leave?” she thought.
    “It sounded like you were, I don’t know, wounded.” His words hung in the air between them.
    She was wounded but now she was also embarrassed. Her face flushed and she turned back to the stream. She didn’t want to let her guard down in front of this stranger and at the same time she wanted to tell him everything if he’d listen. After a moment he said “Well, if you’re sure you’re alright, I’ll head out.” He turned to walk away but stopped when she said “I’m Jodie.”
    He closed his eyes, let out a small sigh then turned back towards her with a smile “I’m Matt. It’s nice to meet you Jodie.”

    1. mcullen Post author

      Lisa, some powerful emotions in this writing. I especially like the line, “She didn’t want to let her guard down in front of this stranger and at the same time she wanted to tell him everything if he’d listen.” That seems like a universal truth, wanting to be cautious and wanting to be heard. This is an intriguing opening to a story and sounds like the beginning of a relationship, perhaps a friendship, or more.
      Suggestion: omit repetitive words. For example: “A twig snapped behind her” and “She snapped her head around” and ““What about it?” she snapped.” Snapped is an excellent word choice in all instances, but used so closely together, it loses impact. Since “A twig snapped” has been used many times in writing, suggest coming up with a different way to describe this. You could even just say “A noise startled her.” Or, “Bent over, catching her breath, a noise jerked her up.” Don’t use these exact phrases, just some ideas of how you could tweak. Consider this:”She whipped her head around.” I would keep “”What about it?” she snapped.” because that mirrors her emotions. I use the thesaurus when I’m stuck. It’s a great tool. Another awesome tool: The Emotion Thesaurus: A Writer’s Guide to Character Expression, by Angela Ackerman and Rebecca (Becca) Puglisi.

  2. Lisa

    Marlene,

    Thanks so much for the advice! I honestly didn’t “see” that I’d repeated snapped when I proofed it. And I will definitely check out The Emotion Thesaurus.

    I’m always pleasantly surprised where your prompts lead me. Thank you for creating such a great environment for me to explore my writing.

    -Lisa

    1. mcullen Post author

      I’m so glad the prompts are working for you, Lisa. I also repeat words when I write and often don’t notice until the third or fourth edit!

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