Guest Blogger Bella Mahaya Carter: Last week, I went to the dark side. I kept trying to get out of my low mood, which I created by misinterpreting a situation, making presumptions about other people’s opinions about me, and then listening to—and believing—the small voice inside my head ranting about what a terrible person I am. These thoughts looked real. They weren’t. They were expressions of fear. Having been beaten as a small child, I can sometimes be a hyper-vigilant people-pleaser, and when I sense others are unhappy with me, it can trigger the kid who feels unsafe. Last week, when I was in that low mood, I kept trying to do things to get out of it, but nothing helped. I finally realized there was nothing to do except sit with my uncomfortable feelings, be compassionate with myself, and wait for my mental storm to pass. There was nothing…
Tag: Bella Mahaya Carter
Help might be where you least expect it. Just ask.
Excerpted from “Where Do You Hang Your Hammock?: Finding Peace of Mind While You Write, Publish, and Promote Your Book” by Bella Mahaya Carter. When you’re out there promoting your book, you’ll have to ask for all sorts of things. This might feel hard. You may make up stories, such as I don’t want to “bother” people or be a nuisance. You may feel as if you have no right to ask for what you want. You may even feel, deep down, as if there’s something wrong with asking. Of course, nobody likes rejection, either. We don’t want to hear the word “no.” But how people respond has more to do with them than with you. If you can blow by the nos, you’ll pick up enough yeses along the way. So don’t let that stop you. Those stories running through your head, that make asking for what you want seem unsavory, doesn’t mean…
What calls to you? Prompt #582
It feels to me like we’re coming down from a precipice, a surreal 15 months. As we enter this new phase, what calls to you? What are you ready to let go of? How can you release or lighten the load you carry? Prompt inspired from “Where Do You Hang Your Hammock?” by Bella Mahaya Carter.
Where Do You Hang Your Hammock?
Positive, encouraging, inspiring. “Where Do You Hang Your Hammock?” by Bella Mahaya Carter is rich with inspiration to write and encouragement to share writing. I devoured this book and found the material mesmerizing. “Where Do You Hang Your Hammock? Finding Peace of Mind While You Write, Publish, and Promote Your Book” is the perfect companion when writing. Carter helps readers get past the hurdles and uncertainties of writing and publishing your writing. The highlighted sections at the end of every chapter inspire writing ideas for deep exploration. Carter uses extensive quotes and reference material that enrich the experiential component of “Where Do You Hang Your Hammock?” The important message of “Believe in yourself and allow yourself to dream” encourages and supports your writing and your writing dreams. There are several sections that could be used as mantras, or reminders to go easy on yourself. “. . . we can stop…
Finding Time to Write
Guest Blogger Bella Mahaya Carter writes about: A Cure for Writer’s Block: Write without “Writing” Many of my students and clients tell me that they have a hard time finding the time to write. This is totally understandable. Our lives are busy. We have obligations and commitments we must fulfill, or face tangible consequences. Writing is not like this. Nobody knows or cares if we don’t write. But people who have the urge (calling) to write and don’t act on it often experience dissatisfaction, even angst. They feel like they have an itch they can’t scratch. Part of the problem—what keeps people from sitting down to write—is their own imagination. They’ve made up stories about what “writing” is supposed to look like. They assume they need to carve out huge chunks of time. They believe that they have to feel energized or inspired. They might envision their writing hurting people they love. They…
Bella Mahaya Carter & The Priority Pyramid
Today’s guest blogger, Bella Mahaya Carter offers inspiration with a “Priority Pyramid.” The following is an excerpt from her original post. Last November, I worked with Dan Blank, author of Be The Gateway: A Practical Guide to Sharing Your Creative Work and an Audience. In his book, Dan recommends an exercise to help creative professionals get clear about their life and work priorities. If you’d like to try this exercise, get fifteen index cards and write down one word on each card indicating what’s important to you. Then prioritize your cards into a pyramid, with your most important priority at the apex, and work down from there. These cards are a wonderful reminder of what matters if you lose your way. Each person will obviously have different words on their cards. Here’s what mine looks like: For me, a deep spiritual connection with Self comes first. When I lose that…
I didn’t want to go.
“I didn’t want to go but I’m glad I did.” Bella Mahaya Carter’s title for her early December email caught my attention, probably because so many times I didn’t want to go but I was glad I went. Here’s what Bella wrote: Dear Friends, I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving and are enjoying the holiday season! Today’s post is about showing up for ourselves and for each other. This past Monday night, I did not want to attend Forest Lawn’s annual “Lights of Remembrance: An Evening of Honoring the Memories of Your Loved Ones.” I was tired (hadn’t slept well the night before) and felt like I was getting sick. I also didn’t want to drive twenty miles at night to a place I’d never been, or go alone (my husband was too tired and my friend declined). I wanted to stay home, lounge by the fireplace, and watch The Crown. …
Early Christmas Morning
As I write this, it’s early Christmas morning, 2019. It will be a quiet day here at Chateau Cullen, except for the swishing of a broom while I sweep the porch and the hum of the washer and dryer, getting ready for our holiday party this weekend and for my granddaughter’s third birthday. Today will be a busy day for some, filled with happy feet and sparkling eyes as young and old open presents under a decorated tree. For others, it will be quieter. Today’s guest blogger, Bella Mahaya Carter shares her holiday thoughts. Dear Friends: I hope you’re enjoying the holiday season—or getting through it with as much grace and ease as possible. One thing that helps keep me calm is walking our dog, Katie, who insists upon frequent and leisurely outings. I don’t mind (usually), because they provide exercise, time outdoors, and inspiration. Check out this leaf she’s…
Just be yourself.
The definition of marketing is connecting with people in a human way and doing it as authentically as possible. Writing can heal and transform lives. Guest blogger Bella Mahaya Carter shares her epiphany about newsletters and marketing. Sometimes I want to lay down my ambition, hit cruise control, and glide through life. But as an author (and human being) there’s so much I don’t know and want to learn. Case in point: I had a wonderful experience publishing my memoir with She Writes Press. I’ve come close to selling out my 1000-book print run—except for a few boxes left in my garage, which remind me of this important fact: books don’t sell themselves. The realization that I (along with most authors today) need to take responsibility for the business part of my writing life has been sobering—but also, surprisingly fun. I’ve been reading marketing books the way I used to read craft books as a young writer—inhaling…
Activating Your Creative Goals
Creating The Impossible Today’s Guest Blogger is Bella Mahaya Carter. I have enjoyed her blog posts. I hope you do, too. Here is one of her inspirational stories. When I was a film student in the eighties, my then-boyfriend and now-husband, Jim, and I borrowed a professional ¾-inch video camera from school and spent a long, magical afternoon taping an interview with his beloved grandmother. When we finished we had two-and-a-half hours of raw footage that required editing, but we didn’t have the equipment. One day we’ll get around to this, we thought. A few years later, after we’d married and after his grandmother had died, we wanted to keep her legacy alive by sharing the footage we took of her with the family. We agreed it would make a great holiday gift for Jim’s siblings, aunts, uncles, and cousins. We had it transferred to VHS, but when we viewed it,…