Book Reviews

Toxic Mom Toolkit by Rayne Wolfe

Rayne Wolfe’s voice is strong, courageous and honest throughout her book, Toxic Mom Toolkit. She writes about her birth mother and adoptive mother — both toxic. Rayne writes about her childhood with clarity and writes about her toxic moms with compassion.

Native Cover.4417111.inddToxic Mom Toolkit travels Rayne’s journey from abusive childhood to learning the necessity of distancing herself from these toxic women. Rayne tells her story without whining, without self-pity, without a poor-me attitude. Toxic Mom Toolkit clearly illustrates what a toxic mother is.

Thankfully, she had a wonderful step-mother who showed Rayne unconditional love and kindness, illustrating good mothering.

If you don’t have a toxic person in your life: Hooray. You might want to read Rayne’s book for both entertainment and education, in case someone toxic comes along. It could happen, you never know.

If you think you have a toxic person in your life, read this book. It will help you determine if the person is toxic and to what degree.

If you know you have a toxic person in your life, this is a must-read.

What I especially love about Rayne’s writing is her ability to tell a difficult story with honesty and genuineness. Her extraordinary writing ability had me reading late into the night. She presents her story with the perfect touch of humor. Her rich writing leaves lasting impressions.

The book braids three strands: Rayne’s memoir, excerpts from others who also had toxic mothers and toolkits. Tools include questionnaires to determine if your mother is/was toxic and suggestions for understanding and managing toxic mothers. These stories and tools could be helpful for those with toxic colleagues, toxic friends and other toxic family members.

The Toxic Mom Toolkit Blog:   Rayne’s blog expands the concept of toxicity in other people and what to do. Here’s an excerpt from her September 26, 2015 blog post: “. . . be as kind as possible to everyone including toxic mothers. It is in extending kindness (and understanding) to people who hurt us that we rise above our painful histories. With 20 years of No Contact with the mother who raised me, I know how important kindness is, now that she has died. The kindness I’ve extended, the neutral state when we did speak, and the care I took to treat her as I would any other senior adult that I did not want in my life, was the key to my own peace.”

For daily inspiration, take a look at Toxic Mom Toolkit’s facebook page, hosted by Rayne Wolfe.

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  1. Ke11y

    Dear Marlene,

    Ive been going way back through your blog. I encourage anyone interested in writing to revisit so many posts that offer help and encouragement. I cannot thank you enough for all the links, advice, and beautiful writings.

    I’m not done, there is so much that is special.

    Very grateful for all the effort you’ve put into helping others like me.


    1. mcullen Post author

      Thank you, Kelly. This means the world to me! Sometimes it’s a lonely outpost for a blogger, wondering if the blog posts are helpful. You have renewed my inspiration to continue blogging and. . . just write!

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