{"id":11593,"date":"2022-04-28T06:06:00","date_gmt":"2022-04-28T13:06:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thewritespot.us\/marlenecullenblog\/?p=11593"},"modified":"2022-04-27T08:07:17","modified_gmt":"2022-04-27T15:07:17","slug":"i-am-not-that-girl","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thewritespot.us\/marlenecullenblog\/i-am-not-that-girl\/","title":{"rendered":"I am not That Girl"},"content":{"rendered":"

Memorable writing that sparks imagination. Lean in. Hear the writer\u2019s voice on the page<\/em>.<\/p>\n

When I heard \u201cI am not That Girl\u201d by Ariel LaChelle, I knew I wanted it on the Sparks page of my blog.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s longer that what is usually posted here.
\nIt\u2019s so amazing, I could not resist.
\nYou can read it and watch Ariel perform \u201cI am not That Girl\u201d<\/a> in her own strong and melodic voice.<\/p>\n

I am not That Girl<\/strong>
\nBy Ariel LaChelle<\/strong><\/p>\n

Even though the term \u201cThat Girl\u201d
\nWas created by black girls,
\nI don\u2019t fit the requirements
\nAutomatically,
\nBecause I am a Fat Girl.
\nAnd \u2018cause I have tight curls
\nThat become more angry
\nIf I dip my scalp in the water,
\nThen let my hair air dry
\nAnd don\u2019t try
\nTo keep it in order.<\/p>\n

No styling,
\nNo stretching,
\nNo products,
\nNo dye,
\nBut I feel like I might
\nIf this guy
\nContinues to undermine
\nMy sensitivity.<\/p>\n

My femininity
\nBecause of my size.
\nHe\u2019ll generalize me
\nAsking \u201chow tall are you,\u201d
\nAnd \u201chow much do you weigh?\u201d
\nBefore he ever asks me
\n\u201cHow do you feel?\u201d
\nUsing my looks as the barometer
\nTo measure my worth.<\/p>\n

He calls me low value
\nHe regards me lower than dirt,
\nBecause at least you can get flowers from dirt.
\nI\u2019m not a rose,
\nI\u2019m not so easy to pluck.
\nI\u2019m no longer so simple so
\nI\u2019m less easy to ____<\/p>\n

I get that from my grandma<\/p>\n

Her birthday is Earth day
\nAnd she died in so much pain
\nIf I\u2019m here and I\u2019m healthy
\nHow can I complain
\nWith groundwater in my veins?
\nI\u2019m a tree
\nRooted deeply
\nI\u2019m big and sturdy
\nAnd whole ecosystems
\nThrive off of me.<\/p>\n

They took the healing power
\nOf my fruit for granted
\nJust because it\u2019s sour.
\nThey took forever to
\nMake tonic and lemonade with it,
\nThen took the credit
\nWithout realizing that
\nWas my intention.
\nTo show them creativity.
\nIn the face of adversity
\nAnd provide them with cleansing.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s the smell of clean
\nI\u2019m sorry everyone can\u2019t be
\nThe Giving Tree
\nYes I\u2019m inspired but baby
\nThis ain\u2019t Shel Silverstein.<\/p>\n

I stay in the background
\nBlack bodies swayed from my limbs
\nAnd I remember that sound
\nOf wind, swooshing around.<\/p>\n

When the picnic was not a good thing,
\nAnd the sudden smell of burning flesh
\nCould not be washed out
\nBy the storm
\nAnd the rainbow was not enough
\nTo take our mind off of it
\n\u2018Cause it was the norm.<\/p>\n

The picnic was not a good thing,
\nSo we made the cookout.
\nAnd we made enough bread
\nFinally
\nTo build a tree house instead
\nWe saying: \u201cWe Made It!\u201d
\nBut we live in our pain.
\nIt\u2019s bittersweet,
\nLike a house made of gingerbread
\nThat would lure me in
\nJust so the owner could
\nDevour me.<\/p>\n

Fattened up
\nLike a gullible kid
\nWho loves cake.
\nI love the way
\nThat sugar feels in my heart
\nAnd how savory delicacies
\nStimulate my palette
\nAnd my mind,
\nLike a painting of flavor
\nI savor
\nIt like the wine
\nThat I\u2019ve been known to decline.
\nI guess we all have a vice.
\nWe all get drunk on something.<\/p>\n

I used to smoke and have sex
\nTo clear my head.
\nI used to cut myself
\nAnd release tears
\nIn the form of blood
\nFrom the gashes.
\nI used to burn myself
\nIn ways that wouldn\u2019t
\nTurn me to ashes,
\nOnly hurt myself
\nUntil I could forget
\nWhat had happened.<\/p>\n

But I am no longer THAT girl.<\/p>\n

Now I just eat my feelings sometimes
\nSo yeah, I am a fat girl.
\nBut I can lose a few pounds,
\nThat\u2019s an easy weight to drop.
\nThe one that\u2019s harder and heavier
\nIs what you carry around in your soul<\/p>\n

That compels you to
\nRip others apart,
\nIn hopes of looking inside of them
\nAnd seeing something you\u2019re missing.<\/p>\n

I hope you see
\nThis vulnerability
\nAs an invitation to do the same
\nAnd find some chivalry
\nOr at least some civility
\nI hope you see the love of God in me
\nBecause I go to lions\u2019 dens
\nTrying to do some good
\nAnd I come back feeling like Job
\nY\u2019all ganging up on me!<\/p>\n

Because I don\u2019t wear your colors,
\nI wear all of them.
\nBecause I don\u2019t act like others
\nI be appalling them.
\nBut I don\u2019t try to shut anyone up
\nI listen to you
\nAnd all I hear is anger and wounds.
\nYeah, I do<\/p>\n

Need to lose weight, but honey\u2026
\nSo do you.<\/p>\n

Ariel LaChelle<\/a> is an independent singer, songwriter, poet, composer, and arranger with an Associate’s Degree in Music Production from The Los Angeles Recording School.
\nAs a child, she started to write poetry and displayed a natural affinity for storytelling. This came in handy during her teenage years, which were riddled with trials, trauma, and triggers caused by abuse, homelessness, toxic relationships, depressive episodes, and panic attacks. Writing, singing, and praying became her outlets as she recovered from self-harm scars–both external and internal.
\nHer goal is to write divinely-inspired pieces that explore the beauty and poetry in the nuances of life, love, pain, and interconnectedness as we know it today. She sees her poetry and music as a small contribution to the story and the soundtrack of life.<\/p>\n

Note from Marlene:<\/strong> I think Ariel has accomplished her goal of writing “divinely-inspired pieces.”<\/p>\n

I learned about Ariel at one of Kevin Powell’s writing workshops. A shout out to Kevin Powell<\/a> for inspiring writers.<\/p>\n

Spring\/Summer 2022: Kevin is offering Friday Night Writing, and Sunday Writer Events, info on Kevin’s Facebook Page<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Memorable writing that sparks imagination. Lean in. Hear the writer\u2019s voice on the page. When I heard \u201cI am not That Girl\u201d by Ariel LaChelle, I knew I wanted it on the Sparks page of my blog. It\u2019s longer that what is usually posted here. It\u2019s so amazing, I could not resist. You can read […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"sfsi_plus_gutenberg_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_show_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_type":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_alignemt":"","sfsi_plus_gutenburg_max_per_row":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1474],"tags":[1756,1757,1758,1190],"class_list":["post-11593","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sparks","tag-ariel-lachelle","tag-i-am-not-that-girl","tag-kevin-powell","tag-writing-freely-just-write-writing-prompts-the-write-spot-blog"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p43Dj8-30Z","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thewritespot.us\/marlenecullenblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11593","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thewritespot.us\/marlenecullenblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thewritespot.us\/marlenecullenblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thewritespot.us\/marlenecullenblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thewritespot.us\/marlenecullenblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11593"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/thewritespot.us\/marlenecullenblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11593\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11600,"href":"https:\/\/thewritespot.us\/marlenecullenblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11593\/revisions\/11600"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thewritespot.us\/marlenecullenblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11593"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thewritespot.us\/marlenecullenblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11593"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thewritespot.us\/marlenecullenblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11593"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}