{"id":11715,"date":"2022-06-02T06:31:00","date_gmt":"2022-06-02T13:31:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thewritespot.us\/marlenecullenblog\/?p=11715"},"modified":"2022-05-25T10:48:23","modified_gmt":"2022-05-25T17:48:23","slug":"becoming-a-writer-in-the-third-chapter-of-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thewritespot.us\/marlenecullenblog\/becoming-a-writer-in-the-third-chapter-of-life\/","title":{"rendered":"Becoming a Writer in the Third Chapter of Life"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Guest Post by Carole Duff<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.<\/em> \u2014Anatole France<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Western culture divides life into three stages: birth\/student, work\/family, and retirement\/death. My husband and I, moving into our retirement years and building a new house, borrowed the Hindu concept of four stages, adding a time of spiritual growth and reconnection between retirement and death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The third stage of life, Vanaprastha, the name we chose for our mountain home, means retreat to the forest. Not retirement but time to learn, reflect, and grow. Time to take the internal journey and heal past wounds from loss, rejection, and inexplicable disruptions. Time to explore, discover, seek meaning, share wisdom, and serve others. Time to become our truer selves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As it turned out, I became a writer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While overseeing the construction of our mountain retreat, I read the books I\u2019d promised myself I\u2019d get to but never had time, walked the dog, and tried new recipes. I wrote about my husband\u2019s daughter, lost to suicide at age twenty-four, a girl I\u2019d never met and wanted to know about as part of my husband\u2019s past. But while reading her journals, hearing her father\u2019s stories, and writing, I found my story bleeding through the pages into hers, because of connections I never expected. Disruptions from when we were five: her parents\u2019 divorce and a home-invader assaulting my mother; mental illness episodes starting at sixteen; troubles in college; rejection in love\u2014stories begging to be written, hiding in our closets. After the house was built, I signed up for writing classes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Being a novice was humbling after a long and successful career, teaching, designing curriculum, and publishing technical articles. I was no longer a sage on the stage or guide on the side. My teachers were often the same age as my students\u2014my recent students. More to the point, my wants and path-to-purpose had changed. After years of forward motion, raising children, earning money to pay the bills, pursuing success and honors, I looked back and moved toward asking, Who am I?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Third-stage-of-life writers often employ creative nonfiction in memoir and personal essays. They are less interested in earning a living as a writer and more interested in the internal search on the page. This journey for self-knowledge is heroic in the Joseph Campbell sense, fraught with external and internal obstacles and resistance. We all have wounds in our past and tend to evade them at all cost. I was appalled to discover the extent of my evasions, self-centeredness, and self-righteousness, my need for approval, to be right and in control. The \u201cclever\u201d stories I\u2019d told myself and others over the years were often self-serving and sometimes outright lies. My husband\u2019s daughter took the same journey, until her mental illness exacted its toll. To become the master of my story, I had to portray myself as both protagonist and antagonist, to turn victims into actors, villains into humans, and the helpless into the able; to find a third way to manage fear, other than flight or fight. Only then could I find peace and offer what I\u2019d learned to others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The nuts and bolts of writing can be daunting. Pitches, proposals, publishing, platform. The bottom line of becoming a writer in the third chapter is growth, both personal and professional. Write, write, write. Take classes to grow your craft, read craft books and recommended models, join writing groups, attend conferences, create communities. Open yourself to criticism; be honest and generous in return. Study, learn something new, sing, garden, volunteer. Do all those things and more\u2014and have a grand time!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBecoming a Writer in the Third Chapter of Lif<\/a>e<\/a>\u201d first appeared on Brevity blog on May 17, 2022<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Carole Duff<\/strong> <\/a>is a veteran teacher, serious flutist, avid naturalist, and writer of creative nonfiction. She posts weekly to her long-standing blog Notes from Vanaprastha<\/a>, and has written for Brevity blog, Mockingbird, Streetlight Magazine, The Perennial Gen, for which she is a regular contributor, and other publications.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Carole lives in Virginia\u2019s Blue Ridge Mountains with her husband, writer K.A. Kenny, and two, large overly-friendly dogs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She will present a session on \u201cBecoming a Writer in the Third Chapter of Life\u201d at HippoCamp 2022<\/a> in August.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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