{"id":5569,"date":"2016-05-26T08:47:01","date_gmt":"2016-05-26T15:47:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thewritespot.us\/marlenecullenblog\/?p=5569"},"modified":"2016-05-26T08:47:01","modified_gmt":"2016-05-26T15:47:01","slug":"what-are-you-telling-yourself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thewritespot.us\/marlenecullenblog\/what-are-you-telling-yourself\/","title":{"rendered":"What are you telling yourself?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Guest Blogger Ted A. Moreno writes about description versus story and making up stories:<\/p>\n

Do you have a habit of making up stories? We know some people who have a tendency to exaggerate the truth. We think we know what is real. But do we really?<\/p>\n

Something that happened to me this morning:<\/p>\n

I was out for my morning walk when a police officer pulled up alongside of me in his car. He asked me my name and for my ID. He said that they had been looking for a missing person that had the potential of hurting themselves and that I fit the description. I gave him my ID, told him I wasn\u2019t the one he was looking for and he drove away.<\/p>\n

Now, let me tell you a story.<\/p>\n

I was taking a walk, minding my own business, when a police car passed me. I nodded to the officer. A few minutes later he came back because he had nothing better to do and decided to harass me. He demanded my ID, and made up some story about looking for a missing person. I know he just wanted to mess with me because I nodded to him and they don\u2019t like when you do that.<\/p>\n

What really happened? \u00a0Which is real? What is reality?<\/p>\n

We can spend days talking about reality, so why don\u2019t we just try to\u00a0stay in\u00a0touch with reality.\u00a0We want to deal with what\u2019s real don\u2019t we?\u00a0We don\u2019t want to waste our time dealing with what\u2019s not real.\u00a0Yet, the truth is, we do that all the time.<\/p>\n

I suggest that #1 is a description of what happened and that #2 is a story of what happened. See the difference?<\/p>\n

Those who study quantum physics have concluded that there is no\u00a0objective reality \u201cout there.\u201d\u00a0That means, for there to be reality, there must be you to describe it.\u00a0 (Check out this\u00a0video<\/a>\u00a0about the paradox of Schrodinger\u2019s cat.)<\/p>\n

So we\u00a0could\u00a0say that reality is what we\u00a0perceive, or experience.\u00a0However, is it possible for two people to perceive the exact same thing, but have a different reality of that thing? Absolutely.<\/p>\n

The fact is that we each have our own individual reality.\u00a0The reason that our personal reality can be so very different from someone else\u2019s reality is not because of what we perceive, but because of what we make it mean. The meaning comes from us, making up stories. One of the defining characteristics of human beings is that we give\u00a0meaning to just about everything by making up\u00a0stories\u00a0about it.<\/p>\n

In\u00a0my work as a hypnotherapist, I help people see that we are all making up stories about what\u00a0 happens to us. Because we are always making up stories, we believe them, and we can become \u201chypnotized\u201d by them.<\/p>\n

Our reality consists of two parts:\u00a0\u00a0There\u2019s\u00a0what happened, and then there\u2019s us, making up stories about\u00a0what happened.\u00a0There is perception, and then there is interpretation.<\/p>\n

In my case, there\u2019s what happened, (a police officer stopped me and asked my some questions) and then there\u2019s my\u00a0story of what happened (a police officer harassed me). The problem is, it\u2019s really easy to get the two confused. We believe that our story about what happened\u00a0is\u00a0what happened, and that becomes our reality. Then we make decisions based on a story that for the most part, is made up.<\/p>\n

Meaning Making Machines Making Up Stories<\/p>\n

The fact is, humans are\u00a0meaning making machines.\u00a0We are always\u00a0 making up\u00a0stories about what happens to us, we can\u2019t help it.\u00a0That\u2019s what gives each life its unique flavor.\u00a0What that flavor tastes like will depend on what kind of stories you are making up.\u00a0\u201cMy business failed, that means I\u2019m a failure\u201d\u00a0has a pretty bitter taste. On the other hand\u00a0\u201cBecause my\u00a0business failed, I learned something that will help me succeed next time\u201d\u00a0is a little more palatable, as well as being infinitely more useful.<\/p>\n

Stuff \u201chappens\u201d all the time.\u00a0 Most of the time, we can agree about what happened. Up to a point.<\/p>\n

We can\u00a0agree that the weather is hot.\u00a0But we\u2019re not going to stop there; we are always making up stories about the weather! \u00a0We have to make up a story about what happened, it\u2019s\u00a0our nature to do so. For example:<\/p>\n

What happened:\u00a0The temperature outside is\u00a0hot.<\/p>\n

Your story of what happened might be:\u00a0I\u2019m going to suffer today because I hate the heat.\u00a0Or, if you are a kid, you might make up a different story:\u00a0It\u2019s hot so we get to swim in the pool!<\/p>\n

Sometimes though, the stories we make up can be\u00a0really lousy:<\/p>\n

WH (What Happened):\u00a0I asked mommy to buy me a pony and she didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

SWH (Story of What Happened):\u00a0Mommy didn\u2019t love me.<\/p>\n

or<\/p>\n

WH:\u00a0I don\u2019t live in a mansion like\u00a0the people on TV.<\/p>\n

SWH:\u00a0I\u2019m a loser!<\/p>\n

One of the\u00a0biggest obstacles people have to personal happiness is that they are making up\u00a0stories that are really crappy about what happened to them!<\/p>\n

It\u2019s very easy to believe that what happened and the story of what happened are the same thing, but they rarely are.\u00a0And if we tell this story over and over repeatedly, we can \u201chypnotize\u201d ourselves into believing that the story is what happened, and that our story is reality, when all it is us making up stories which may or may not be accurate.<\/p>\n

If that\u2019s not bad enough, we\u00a0act\u00a0as if our stories are real. In other words, we base our behavior on a made up story, sometimes with dire consequences.<\/p>\n

For example:<\/p>\n

WH:\u00a0Mommy didn\u2019t buy me a pony<\/p>\n

SWH:\u00a0Mommy didn\u2019t love me.<\/p>\n

Behavior based on your story: I resent my mother and we don\u2019t talk. (I want to make it clear that this is just an example. Of the eight kids my mom had, I\u2019m\u00a0her favorite. That\u2019s my story and I\u2019m sticking to it!)<\/p>\n

WH: I don\u2019t live in a mansion like the people on TV.<\/p>\n

SWH: I\u2019m a loser!<\/p>\n

Behavior based in your story: Since I\u2019m a loser, I\u2019ll break the law to get what I want.<\/p>\n

One of the most important skills we can learn is to distinguish between what happened, and our story of what happened,\u00a0because the stories that we make up will affect our lives, for better or worse.<\/p>\n

The quality of our lives is not determined by what happens to us, but by the stories we tell about what happens to us.\u00a0What we do in\u00a0our lives will in a large part be determined by the meaning we attach to our life\u2019s circumstances.\u00a0If we can become aware of those stories and how they affect our lives, then we have a choice. We can begin making up stories that empower us, instead of making up stories the dis-empower us.\u00a0 The meaning of our lives is made up by us, so it\u2019s all invented anyway. We are the creators of our lives. The only question is, what do you want to create?<\/p>\n

Much of\u00a0my work with my hypnotherapy clients\u00a0involves helping them identify stories they are telling themselves that are disempowering and downright scary. These\u00a0stories rob a person of confidence, self esteem and aliveness,\u00a0while perpetuating fear, doubt and unhappiness.\u00a0The first question I ask of them is: \u201cOk, something happened to you, but what\u2019s the story you\u2019re making up about that, and what is that doing for you?\u201d<\/p>\n

I help people to stop making up\u00a0stories that do nothing for them and\u00a0I use hypnosis to help people\u2019s minds become comfortable with making up stories that speak to their courage, strength, intelligence and ability to overcome challenges.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t take that long to start telling a new story. It all depends on how invested you are in your old story.<\/p>\n

So the next time you feel anger, or fear, or doubt or sadness, ask yourself:\u00a0What is the story\u00a0I\u2019m telling that makes me feel this way? You can choose to tell a different story, or\u00a0you may want to keep that story for now, and that\u2019s ok. It\u2019s your story, after all. We all have one.<\/p>\n

In conclusion,\u00a0let me suggest that you don\u2019t believe a word I\u2019ve written. It\u2019s just my story, and it works for me. I hope at least some of it works for you as well.<\/p>\n

Ted A. Moreno<\/a><\/p>\n

Originally posted on The Moreno Method Blog on March 30, 2016<\/a><\/p>\n

\"Moreno.cd\"<\/a>Note from Marlene: I have used Ted’s relaxation cds for years and I highly recommend them for relaxation and de-stressing.<\/p>\n

Hypnosis Audio Recordings By Ted A. Moreno, Certified Hypnotherapist<\/a><\/p>\n

\n

Hypnosis audio recordings in the form of CDs and mp3 downloads are a\u00a0popular and effective way way to reinforce positive changes in your life.\u00a0By listening to these recordings, you\u00a0can easily go into a hypnotic state and benefit from \u00a0positive suggestions reinforcing relaxation, motivation and the desire to reach your goals.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Guest Blogger Ted A. Moreno writes about description versus story and making up stories: Do you have a habit of making up stories? We know some people who have a tendency to exaggerate the truth. We think we know what is real. But do we really? Something that happened to me this morning: I was […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"sfsi_plus_gutenberg_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_show_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_type":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_alignemt":"","sfsi_plus_gutenburg_max_per_row":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[104],"tags":[941,940,522],"class_list":["post-5569","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-guest-bloggers","tag-hypnosis-audio-recordings-by-ted-a-moreno","tag-schrodingers-cat","tag-ted-a-moreno"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p43Dj8-1rP","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thewritespot.us\/marlenecullenblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5569","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thewritespot.us\/marlenecullenblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thewritespot.us\/marlenecullenblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thewritespot.us\/marlenecullenblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thewritespot.us\/marlenecullenblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5569"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/thewritespot.us\/marlenecullenblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5569\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5574,"href":"https:\/\/thewritespot.us\/marlenecullenblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5569\/revisions\/5574"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thewritespot.us\/marlenecullenblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5569"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thewritespot.us\/marlenecullenblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5569"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thewritespot.us\/marlenecullenblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5569"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}