{"id":5793,"date":"2016-07-12T21:14:53","date_gmt":"2016-07-13T04:14:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thewritespot.us\/marlenecullenblog\/?p=5793"},"modified":"2016-07-12T21:14:53","modified_gmt":"2016-07-13T04:14:53","slug":"im-sorry-you-are-experiencing-this","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thewritespot.us\/marlenecullenblog\/im-sorry-you-are-experiencing-this\/","title":{"rendered":"I’m sorry you are experiencing this."},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Flashlight<\/a>This Write Spot Blog Post is inspired by The Writings of Tim Lawrence, The Adversity Within, Shining Light on Dark Places<\/a>. <\/em><\/p>\n

Tim offers ideas in his blog post about helping someone who is grieving:<\/p>\n

“I acknowledge your pain. I am here with you.”<\/em><\/p>\n

“Grief is brutally painful. Grief does not only occur when someone dies. When relationships fall apart, you grieve.\u00a0When opportunities are shattered, you grieve.\u00a0When dreams die, you grieve.\u00a0When illnesses wreck you, you grieve.<\/p>\n

So I\u2019m going to repeat a few words I\u2019ve uttered countless times:<\/p>\n

Some things in life cannot be fixed. They can only be carried.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

These words come from my dear friend Megan Devine<\/a>, one of the only writers in the field of loss and trauma I endorse. These words are so poignant because they aim right at the pathetic platitudes our culture has come to embody on an increasingly hopeless level. Losing a child cannot be fixed. Being diagnosed with a debilitating illness cannot be fixed. Facing the betrayal of your closest confidante cannot be fixed.<\/p>\n

They can only be carried.”<\/p>\n

\u2014Excerpt from Tim Lawrence, 10\/19\/15 blog post, “Everything Doesn’t Happen For A Reason.”<\/em><\/p>\n

Note from Marlene:<\/strong> Some people think everything happens for a reason and this is a comforting thought for them. Others do not think everything happens for a reason. Grief can be difficult no matter what your beliefs are about why it happens.<\/p>\n

Suggestion from Marlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 When someone is having a difficult time, instead of saying “Everything will be okay,” or “This, too, shall pass,” how about:<\/p>\n

“I’m sorry you are experiencing this.“<\/em><\/p>\n

If you are experiencing grief that you can’t shake, please seek professional help.<\/strong><\/p>\n

It might help to write about your situation. Please be careful not to re-traumatize while writing. For ideas on The Write Spot Blog <\/a>about healing through writing, click on How to write without adding trauma<\/a>\u00a0 and Pema Chodron’s Things falling apart is a kind of testing<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This Write Spot Blog Post is inspired by The Writings of Tim Lawrence, The Adversity Within, Shining Light on Dark Places. Tim offers ideas in his blog post about helping someone who is grieving: “I acknowledge your pain. I am here with you.” “Grief is brutally painful. Grief does not only occur when someone dies. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"sfsi_plus_gutenberg_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_show_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_type":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_alignemt":"","sfsi_plus_gutenburg_max_per_row":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3],"tags":[969,970],"class_list":["post-5793","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-quotes-of-inspiration","tag-how-to-write-without-adding-traum","tag-pema-chodrons-things-falling-apart-is-a-kind-of-testing"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p43Dj8-1vr","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thewritespot.us\/marlenecullenblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5793","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thewritespot.us\/marlenecullenblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thewritespot.us\/marlenecullenblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thewritespot.us\/marlenecullenblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thewritespot.us\/marlenecullenblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5793"}],"version-history":[{"count":14,"href":"https:\/\/thewritespot.us\/marlenecullenblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5793\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5809,"href":"https:\/\/thewritespot.us\/marlenecullenblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5793\/revisions\/5809"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thewritespot.us\/marlenecullenblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5793"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thewritespot.us\/marlenecullenblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5793"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thewritespot.us\/marlenecullenblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5793"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}