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Getting By
By Ken Delpit
Success used to mean acing a calculus exam. Success now means increasing a recipe’s called-for two tablespoons by one-third.
Success used to mean deking a defender and swishing a jumper as time ran out. Success now means changing direction on the living room carpet and not tripping over the cat toy.
Success used to mean getting several Jeopardy! questions before the contestants did. Success now means remembering why it is I suddenly got up from the recliner and walked into the kitchen.
Success used to mean handling a ten-digit long-distance telephone number that is to be called, a ten-digit telephone number that is to be charged, and a twelve-digit billing number, all from memory, while tapping into a pay phone and thinking ahead of what I intend to say. Success now means figuring out where I left my cell phone.
Success used to mean measuring the time between, “Oh, I know that” and retrieving the answer from memory in split seconds. Success now measures that time in hours, sometimes days, and always long after it’s too late.
Success used to mean deftly handling all those commonly misspelled English words. Success now means getting close enough that Siri can guess what I’m trying to say with four options or fewer.
Success used to mean catching and righting myself after stepping in a depression on uneven terrain. Success now means choosing the softest possible landing spot before I hit.
Success used to mean graduating all those TO-DOs on my list, one by one, into “Done” status. Success now means remembering where I put my TO-DO list.
Success used to mean striving, achieving, accomplishing. Success now means getting by without further injury.
Despite all evidence to the contrary, Ken Delpit often seems stuck in an earlier decade when it comes to aging. Faced with the truth, and in the spirit of better to laugh than to cry, Ken compares life now versus life then.
