By Mary O’Brien
When home alone in December, your options are:
a) make ornaments
b) bake goodies
c) work on art project
d) write Christmas poem
f) practice using new corkscrew, make sure it works on reds, whites, as well as blushes
g) clean out dryer lint filter, put lint in all of hubby’s jacket pockets
h) phone long lost friend, sing carols to them
i) see if cinnamon bears float in bathtub
j) tape mini lights in spiral on carpet, making a yellow brick road
k) try moonshine pickles, eat with chopsticks
l) make pickle ornaments
m) write ugly letter to Santa
n) set fire to letter using fumes from pickles
o) play Here Comes Santa Claus on keyboard using meow meow sounds
p) write Christmas cards on pieces of burned toast
q) use blow dryer to clean burned crumbs off kitchen counters
r) apply spray glue to dog ears; glitter
s) wear headlamp over Santa hat to set trash out for the night
t) write country song about being left alone on a December night with dogs, moonshine and a Jeep
u) make wreath of pickles, dry with blow dryer, add glitter AFTER blow drying
v) make YouTube video on perils of laying electric lights on carpeting
w) decide broken glass ornaments can be finely crushed to make glitter — roll out with rolling pin
x) bandage hands when bleeding stops
y) eye moonshine cherries . . .
z) go to bed early with a book
Mary O’Brien is a Retired Trophy Wife (RTW) from the Pacific Northwest. She has volunteered for the Court Appointed Special Advocate program, founded local therapeutic hospital humor programs, and supported various other non-profits and do-goodery.
Enjoying the artistry of music, the music of words, the words of healing, and the healing of art, Mary is spending her pandemic hibernation immersing herself in art journaling, watercolor and writing.
She lives in Idaho with her tolerant husband near her comedic grandchildren, and is managed by an elderly, sugared golden retriever (send treats).