I have re-read a Wall Street Journal article numerous times since its publication, July 2024, partly because of the subject, mostly because of the riveting way it was written . . . the account of the days before and after Rachel Zimmerman’s husband’s death by his own hand. “As a health reporter, I wrote years ago about a study that showed the psychological benefits of storytelling. I was fascinated by research that found that people felt differently about themselves and their lives when they reframed their stories so that they were agents, not victims or bystanders. Essentially, the story matters less than how we tell it to ourselves.” Rachel Zimmerman, “A Decade Ago, My Husband Killed Himself. Could I Have Stopped it?” The Wall Street Journal, July 6-7, 2024 As Zimmerman wrote, “This is my effort to make sense of something senseless.” Both Zimmerman and Samantha Rose (Giving Up The…
Tag: memoir
Giving Up The Ghost
Even though “Giving Up The Ghost” by Samantha Rose is about a difficult topic (her mother’s decision to end her life), the gorgeous writing, the meaningful themes, and demonstrations of the importance of connections make this a powerhouse of a memoir. I was curious how Sam accomplished this masterpiece, so I took a deep dive to discover how she did this; reading the first time to learn the story, the second time to discover gems I missed the first time, and a third exploration, using “Ghost” as a textbook for how to write a memoir. Sam skillfully uses sensory detail and strong verbs to word-paint scenes that readers can “see,” unspooling across their minds like a well-crafted movie. Her ability to transform conversations and scenes into poignant moments paired with her willingness to be vulnerable while releasing the truth of her mother’s life and death are remarkable. Sam’s mother, Susan…
As writers, we’re often . . .
“As writers, we’re often trained to seek momentum—significant events, turning moments, the big emotional payoff. Especially in memoir, there’s pressure to magnify the trauma or spin a grand arc of triumph. But when I sat down to write, what called to me weren’t the headlines. It was the folds in between.” — Mary Monoky, “What Stillness Taught Me About Story,” August 6, 2025, The Brevity Blog
Memory is a river, not a block of cement
“Alternate versions of past events are common, because it is human nature, especially where childhood memories are concerned, to move ourselves—over time—to the center of a story. We are hardwired to see the world through our own points of view, and increasingly so with the passage of time. Memory is a river, not a block of cement.” — “But My Sister Remembers It Differently: On Working with Contested Memories,” by Dinty Moore, Aug. 15, 2024 Brevity Blog.
Childhood Stories . . . Prompt #745
Stories from our childhood can be rich material to write about. Let’s start with going back in time. See yourself at 6 years of age, five years, 4 years. See yourself at the kitchen table where you ate breakfast. Maybe swinging your legs because your feet couldn’t reach the floor. Listen. Hear the adult chatter. Maybe there was no ‘round the kitchen table time for you. Maybe it was a picnic table, or a dining room table. Perhaps there was no table. Maybe family time was in the family room, or the TV room, the den, or the rumpus room. Possibly there was no family time. Friends might have been significant in your child life. Maybe most of your childhood was spent outside. Take a deep breath in. Let it out. See the room or the place where you spent a lot of time as a child. Write about that…
Lies, humiliation, secrets . . . Prompt #604
Memoir is similar to many elements of fiction: Careful scene setting, pacing, tension, conflict. Seduce the reader with a confiding tone. Reveal secrets. The best secrets are those that the author reveals or learns about self in the process, “Ah, did I really think that?” Readers are interested in your conflicts. It’s important to modulate good times and bad times. “The best memoirs explore and reveal conflict in a way that illuminates and startles.” —Kat Meads Consider the scope of your memoir. It’s not necessary to start from when you were born and work your way up. Don’t try to write about everything. Take one aspect. The year you were in Paris, for example. If you go with a chronological way of telling, share just the important events that shaped you. The idea is to look objectively at your life to write a richer subjective memoir. Part of writing memoir…
Memoirs As Textbooks
Use a published memoir as a textbook to write your memoir. Read the memoir. Read it again to examine structure. Notice where author used narration vs. dialogue to tell the story. Notice the balance between fast-paced action scenes and slower, contemplative scenes. Note when and how backstory is used. Let’s use Angela’s Ashes by Frank McCourt as our textbook. McCourt’s ability to write as if experiencing events as they unfold, pacing, and his strong writing voice made Angela’s Ashes a New York Times beloved best seller. Angela’s Ashes takes the reader on an emotional journey. There is so much vulnerability in this book. McCourt reaches into our compassionate hearts as he tells his story, moving from childhood to adulthood. He weaves details into a story, similar to the Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls. McCourt taps into universal messages and themes. Understanding your theme will help to write your memoir. Possible…
Guest Blogger Frances Lefkowitz
Today’s guest blogger, Frances Lefkowitz, writes about the importance of family stories and keeping memories alive. Telling stories ‘round the table, can increase well-being, reduce anxiety and depression, reinforce feelings of closeness among family members, and build resilience for navigating life’s normal ups and downs. Stories about something good coming from something bad are particularly therapeutic. When something bad happens, but you find a way to use it to your advantage, you redeem (and transform) the negative experience. The tales need to be structured, with a beginning, a middle, and — most crucial — an end, a conclusion that makes sense of the situation and gives it meaning. Tips for getting the storytelling started: 1. Share photos: Albums, yearbooks, holiday photos, loose photos in shoeboxes. 2. Start and continue traditions. Rituals contribute to stories. 3. Share stories during mealtimes. Frances Lefkowitz has spent over twenty years writing and publishing. The…
Mini memoirs unfold naturally
Remember the joke: “How do you eat an elephant?” “One bite at a time.” Same with writing memoir . . . one incident at a time. “Whether your life story has an over-arching motif or you plan to cobble together a montage of more diverse meditations, the project can seem less overwhelming if you approach it as a series of mini memoirs—two-to three-page essays . . . pivotal points. . . in the broader portrait of your life.” Richard Campbell, January 2017 Writers Digest “The beauty in approaching your life story in terms of mini memoirs is that when it comes to themes, you don’t have to pick just one. Write scenes or vignettes on each theme that speaks to you. You may find that mini memoirs unfold more naturally than the more unwieldy, longer story you have to tell—and that they build momentum strong enough to carry you through…
Short essays can be a goldmine.
Today’s guest blog post is excerpted from Anne R. Allen’s Blog… with Ruth Harris. Writing about writing. Mostly. Book length memoir is a hard sell, but short essays can be a goldmine. Memoir is the most popular genre at any writers’ conference. Unfortunately, it’s the hardest to write well—and the least likely to be successful if you’re an unknown newbie writer. That’s because book-length memoir isn’t likely to become a bestseller unless people already know who you are. So how do you get people to know you? You could become a reality TV star, run for political office, or be related to somebody who marries into the British royal family of course, but not everybody has that option. You can also work to get yourself known through social media, which I recommend for all memoirists. Start a blog, podcast, or vlog on the subject or setting of your memoir and…