Guest Blogger Hospice Nurse Sharon Ziff writes:
We acknowledge that aging, slowing down, and death are normal stages of life. We exercise, eat healthy, think positively, and bring love and playfulness into our lives. Still, eventually, death will walk in.
What if we make friends with death? Can understanding the last chapters of your life move you toward acceptance and peace? Acceptance and peace can be a gift you can give yourself and your loved ones.
Sharon’s Story:
I remember Mama. I wore a hat with a bee pin that was my Mother’s. I gave it to her for her birthday thirty years ago. Maybe for her 75th? I don’t remember the year. But I remember the joy of purchasing it and her face when I gave it to her. I can see it on her blouse. I think of Mother often. Every time I wear my hat with her bee pin.
Sharon’s reflection on memory: Sometimes, my words come a little slower. I usually joke when the word or thought finally comes to me. Sometimes, it takes only 10 seconds to surface, but ten seconds is a
noticeable pause in a conversation. I enjoy reading and listening to podcasts and often come across ideas I want to share. However, I may need to make notes to recall the clever idea! The ideas surface eventually, and as they do, I give myself positive reinforcement—like a high five to Sharon!
As my mother aged, she would often ask me, “What do you think is worse, Sharon: losing your mind and being healthy, or being sick and having your mind?”
Some memory loss is a normal part of aging.
How do you react when you can’t recall a word, a friend’s name, a book, or a movie? Can you laugh gracefully at yourself and accept the effects of aging?
Memories play a significant role in our lives. It’s common to reminisce and reflect on the past as we age. I’m excited that I remembered how to spell “reminisce” and wrote it without using spell check! Google makes it easy to recall facts or trivia that we may have forgotten, as long as you remember how to use your computer or search on your phone!
I googled “Why do old people reminisce?” and got a list of answers. Reminiscing serves a good purpose. It is a way to remember a well-lived life and come to terms with past regrets or incomplete relationships.
Reasons why reminiscing can benefit seniors
What can you do to improve your memory?
Sharon researched how memories are formed: Understanding that the amygdala links a memory stimulated by an emotional connection, a memory with an emotional charge may remain for years, whether happy or sad.
The amygdala, hippocampus, and neocortex are the parts of the brain responsible for memory. Link to an article on How the brain stores memories.
From Marlene: It’s important to practice self-care when writing about difficult subjects to prevent adding trauma.
Resources about how to take care of yourself while writing about difficult things:
The Write Spot: Writing as a Path to Healing
Posts on The Write Spot Blog about not adding trauma while writing about difficult things.
Sharon Ziff‘s work as a Hospice Nurse taught her about end-of-life issues and the importance of preparations to die with dignity. After retirement, she was certified in the “Authentic Presence: Contemplative End of Life Care Training,” a specialized program committed to providing Let’s Speak About Death, a Community Education Project.
