The Write Spot Blog by Marlene Cullen

Category: Guest Bloggers

  • Guest Blogger Marie Judson-Rosier writes about Fantasy Fiction as an Ancient Way of Mythmaking.

    Guest Blogger Marie Judson-Rosier writes about Fantasy Fiction as an Ancient Way of Mythmaking.

    Clarissa Pinkola Estes invites our voices: “We have a reason for being. Blow away the over-culture that says we weren’t longed for,” (heard at a Mysterium workshop with Dr. Estes). Many of us do not think our words are awaited or even welcome. We have to deconstruct messages we absorbed subliminally through our early lives just to allow ourselves to be creative. There’s an invisible hand at our ankle, holding us back. One of the most common blocks to taking our writer selves seriously is our need to extricate ourselves from a sense of judgment, believing that our contribution is not worthwhile. The doubt of our personal voice runs deep. Many if not most of us are acculturated to believe that true authority lies with someone else. Yet we crave creative expression. We owe it to ourselves and our world to give voice to it.

    I came through great swaths of higher academia before I found myself immersed in writing fantasy fiction. As I struggled to write a dissertation, based on research regarding communication in 21st century high schools, I longed to draw my writing from the rich material I knew – as only one’s soul knows – ran thick as sap somewhere in me, out of reach. That’s when I started Jungian dream work and other forms of inner work. In this period, I began daily journaling and have never stopped the daily practice of freewriting, which carries a mother lode of benefits – self-reflection, aid to dream work, and a sense of mental cohesion, to name a few.

    It is ironic that the very discipline of writing a dissertation – along with the angst it brought, which drove me to deep inner work – led me to writing the most frivolous of all literary forms; at least it is believed to be so by some. I, however, see some fantasy fiction as holding the key to our ancient ways of mythmaking. I also believe that it has the potential to release us from a tightly defined identity into something broader, with less circumscribed edges. Sometimes the very farfetched nature of fantasy ideas can break us loose from the fetters that bind our minds and can, thereby, be healing.

    Companion to the great joy I have discovered in creating fiction is the magic of a good writing group. I can see no better way to hone one’s craft than by the feedback of a dedicated, steady group of fellow writers, helping us to see where we lag in interesting vocabulary, fall into repetition, fail to stir lively curiosity or dedication to the characters. Our group’s anticipation of our next installment feeds the fires of our innovation, allows us to dare to approach revision, and renders the writing a joyful event rather than a lonely endeavor. At least that is my experience. (If you have been considering taking part in a writing group, see below.)

    Marie Judson-Rosier, MA, is a teacher, freelance writer and editor. Judson-Rosier has been copyeditor for the scholarly journal Mind, Culture and Activity, an international ground-breaking publication founded by the Laboratory of Comparative Human Cognition at UCSD. She currently serves as managing editor of ReVision, Journal of Consciousness and Transformation. In addition, she is volunteer coordinator of writing groups for Redwood Writers, a branch of the California Writers Clubs started by Jack London. Anyone living within range of Sonoma County who is seeking a writing group is welcome to e-mail her at mariejudson@gmail.com to be added to the list.

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  • Transforming Depression Into My Writer’s Muse — by Teresa LeYung-Ryan

    Transforming Depression Into My Writer’s Muse — by Teresa LeYung-Ryan

    What do I have to be depressed about?

    I am blessed with friends, writing colleagues, housemates, spouse, family members, coworkers, a half-time day job, health insurance, my intellectual properties . . .  and what friends call a sense of humor.  But I don’t feel like laughing in my condition, maybe later. I may have inherited the depression gene (or genes) from my loving mother.

    While I sympathized with my mother’s illness (my novel Love Made of Heart was inspired by her), it would take experiencing the illness myself before I could gain empathy.

    Poor health of the physical nature (especially with overt symptoms) alerts us to seek help; poor health of the mental nature (especially the first occurrence) usually has no clear signals.

    Depression snuck up on me, in my forties. The symptoms didn’t look like my mom’s. I had not lost interest in food. I thought I just needed more sleep (and later, even more sleep) when menopause came to stay.

    Memories of my personal life during those years are foggy; evidence of their existence and my growth are the people still in my life and the books I still use.

    If not for three other miracles — the half-time day job (where people needed my showing up to produce my share of the work) and my clients (authors who needed my identifying the core themes and archetypes in their stories) and my falling in love with blogging (where I have full control as to what and how often I publish) — I might have slept into another world.

    Reading and writing have saved my life, more than once.

    Two other groups of writers needed my help (which meant I needed to show up).  Authors who had invested years crafting their books were being turned down by agents and acquisition editors at publishing houses; these authors were judged not by the quality of their intellectual properties but by modest size or lack of platform; who wouldn’t get depressed!  Authors who wanted to self-publish needed help in growing their fans.  I root for underdogs; thus the birth of my workbook Build Your Writer’s Platform & Fanbase In 22 Days.  (video)

    Honestly, even without the rejections, there are other matters that trigger depression – sensational news headlines; lack of rain; climate control; genetically modified organism “GMO” foods; knowing that friends are battling physical and mental illnesses.

    Illness is a harsh antagonist, but, who is the protagonist of my life anyway?  I am.  I learn from all the other archetypes in my life.  I need to help myself!

    Even though I slip into depression (or depression slips into me), the only way I know how to deal with that menace is to show up for me and my writing.

    The theme of “mental illness” shows up in all my work.  Two years ago, I began writing “Talking to My Dead Mom” monologues. Last year, I began writing my first memoir.  And that is quite exciting for me.

    My prayer for everyone is this:  May your muse show up for you when you show up for yourself in whatever endeavor you pursue.

    For a list of resources, please visit my blog page and scroll down for Helpful Websites & Resources & Guides for Mental Health / Mental Illness / Depression.

    Thank you, dear Marlene Cullen, for asking me to be your guest-blogger this week.

    Sincerely,  Teresa LeYung-Ryan

    Teresa LeYung-Ryan author photo by Sasa Southard

    Teresa LeYung-Ryan author photo by Sasa Southard

    Teresa LeYung-Ryan is 22-Day Coach Teresa; author of Love Made of Heart: a Mother’s Mental Illness Forges Forgiveness in Daughter Ruby (novel used in college courses),  Build Your Writer’s Platform & Fanbase In 22 Days: Attract Agents, Editors, Publishers, Readers, and Media Attention NOW (workbook for all genres), “Talking to My Dead Mom” monologues, and Coach Teresa’s Blog.

     

  • Guest blogger Victoria Zackheim, “If we want to live full and creative lives . . . “

    Guest Blogger Victoria Zackheim writes:

    How many of us are beset by that nagging voice that tells us we’re not good enough, not thin enough, not smart, tall, educated, talented enough? I don’t know about you, but I face this every day. It used to run my life . . . now it’s a tiny slice of annoyance that I can easily push away. It took years—decades, to be honest—but those demons are silenced. When they try to reappear, they’re quickly vanquished. Not dead and gone, but shoved aside where they can do no harm.

    It wasn’t always like that . . . and for many women, and those of us who spend our lives not only writing, but putting our words into the world for everyone to read . . . and judge . . . fear is often the rule, whereas a sense of security is the exception.

    Girls are too often told to behave, not to rock the boat, but if we want to live full and creative lives, we must take risks. I have a friend with ten novels published, including at least one on the NY Times bestseller list, and she still worries herself sick with every publication. I have another friend who’s got nearly thirty million books in print, yet she battles the same self doubt suffered by first-time authors. Why do we do this to ourselves?

    It’s about trust. Trusting ourselves. Trusting the universe to treat us kindly. Trusting our friends and family to be there for us, sharing the celebration when all goes well, sharing the pain when it doesn’t. And we have to trust time, that finite thing that can be friend or foe.  A support system is golden.  For me, it’s what keeps me breathing, writing, and taking risks. When I hit 60, I was NOT happy with my body of work, so I decided to act on every creative thought that crossed my brain. I promised myself to view a no-go idea not as a failure, but as an idea that had no legs. And I created a new definition of “failure”: the idea we’re too afraid to pursue,

    The result? Since I made that promise to myself, I’ve sold six books, have two plays in development, signed an option with Identity Films for my first feature screenplay, wrote a documentary that ran nationwide on PBS, and am teaching writing workshops for UCLA online, and at writers’ conferences here, as well as in Canada, France and Mexico.

    You are never too old to follow your dreams. You want to write a memoir, but you’re convinced that your mother’s ghost will haunt you? Make it a novel! Got an idea for a play, short story, anthology . . . just do it!

    Whatever you read in the beauty magazines, whatever the television commercials promise, you ARE getting older . . . and it’s a good thing. Every day gives you one more shot of maturity, confidence, and fodder for your writing . . .or for living a fuller and more satisfying life. As for me . . . I can’t wait to see what my seventies bring!

     Victoria Zackheim is the author of the novel, The Bone Weaver, and editor of six anthologies, the most recent being FAITH: Believers, Agnostics, and Atheists Confront the Big Questions (working title, Simon & Schuster/Beyond Words, March 2015 publication). Her screenplay, Maidstone, a feature film, is in development with Identity Films. Her plays The Other Woman and Entangled are in development, with the latter having its staged reading at San Francisco’s Z Space Theater in April. Victoria writes documentary films for On the Road Productions. Their latest, Where Birds Never Sang, appeared nationwide  on PBS. She teaches Personal Essay in the UCLA Extension Writers’ Program and is a 2010 San Francisco Library Laureate.

  • Guest Blogger Maria Victoria: My novels are not for free.

    Guest Blogger Maria Victoria: My novels are not for free.

    Give away your stories for free, suggests the book marketing “expert.”

    He insists that if I follow his advice, readers will immediately download my novels on their reading tablets and once they read my work, they will be so enamored with my pen that they will buy everything else I publish from here on out.  His logic reminds me a little of the slogan for Lay’s Potato Chips, “you can’t eat just one.”

    The problem is that I’m not a potato chip. And if I don’t eat now (even a bag of Lay’s) how will I survive to write more novels? Moreover, this guy forgets that I’m paying for his advice and if I give my work away, how am I going to pay him? Of course I understand the marketing strategy of “giving a taste,” like when we get a slice of watermelon at the market. And that is precisely why I write my blog “for free.” Readers can browse through the novels I publish on Amazon – if the reader likes my work they can buy it; otherwise they can keep searching for titles more to their liking. But giving away the whole watermelon?

    There is another reason, perhaps much deeper, which compels me to charge for my work. I am of the opinion that people do not appreciate what they get for free. This is something I learned from my father. When I was young, one of my responsibilities was to help him every Saturday in his clinic. That was the day his assistant rested. My father was an obstetrician in the city of Veracruz, Mexico. With great sacrifice, he had bought a house,which he divided into two, reserving one side for his private clinic. Among the many lessons learned from him, was how to collect fees with humility and respect. He charged the same fee, whether the patient was rich or poor. However, when the situation was appropriate, he would ask for “whatever you can pay, señora.” Even the poorest patient paid “something” – eggs, mangos, chico zapotes, or homemade plum pie, his favorite. Sometimes his patients asked for credit and he always said yes, accepting their “word of honor” as sufficient guarantee for the debt. If any of those women didn’t pay, I wouldn’t know, because he never mentioned it. What happened inside his office never left his office; the sanctity of professional privilege being another of his great teachings. My father’s philosophy was simple: people come here for help, not handouts or charity; even the poorest will pay “something.”

    Last week I went with my grandson to a bookstore in the beautiful little town of Poulsbo. There we were, admiring books for children, when the young man at the cash register casually remarked to a customer, ” I just found out that in the Nordic countries (he did not say which) the government is giving away all the authors’ works that have been registered with their copyright agency.  Isn’t that wonderful?” Before the woman could comment, I had to intervene. “Excuse me, sir, but who is going to pay the authors?” The guy, very surprised, replied, “Well, that’s the only problem … I don’t know…”

    Because I am not only an author, but also a reader, I think it would be wonderful if suddenly our US Copyright Office released all titles to anyone wanting to read them. Access to literature, for rich and poor alike, is something I support wholeheartedly, which is why I love our libraries. The difference with libraries, however, is that they do, ultimately, pay authors for their work; a very small royalty indeed, but at least “something.”
    Perhaps the real reason I am not willing to give my work away is because I seek readers like you. I want readers who appreciate culture and art and are willing to pay for that painting, that song, or that book before buying a hamburger; readers who are very aware that when they buy one of my novels, they are not buying just anything, but a piece of my soul.

    The truth is that although our capitalist system does not promote art as a need for society, artists will continue to pursue their true calling. They will continue to paint their canvases, make their music and write their poems, and will also continue to have a second job to survive. My only hope is that my colleagues stand firm and demand, like I do, to be paid “something” at least, out of respect.

    Selling online does not allow me to decipher if the situation warrants that I accept “whatever you can pay, señores (and señoras).” But let it be known that in exchange for my novels I accept mangoes and chico zapotes. And that my favorite pie is lemon.

    From Veracruz, Mexico, Maria de Lourdes Victoria is an award-winning author whose work has been published internationally in English and Spanish. Her first novel, Los Hijos Del Mar (Children of the Sea), was the finalist for the Mariposa Award (Best First Novel in Spanish) at the 2006 International Latino Book Awards in Washington, D.C. Her second novel, Más allá de la Justicia (Beyond Justice) took third place in Barcelona, Spain, at the prestigious Premio Planeta de Novela book awards (2010), as well as honorary mention as the Best Novel in Spanish and Best Popular Novel at the New York Latino Book Awards (2012). Maria’s short stories have appeared in prominent literary and legal journals and her books for children have received numerous awards. She resides in Seattle and Petaluma and is currently working on her third novel, Los Hijos de las Nubes (Children of the Clouds). Her website is www.mariadelourdesvictoria.com

  • Guest Blogger Susan Hagen: What I want to tell you…

    Guest Blogger Susan Hagen wants to tell you something…

    After a long weekend together, I wrote this to honor the courage and heart of the students at my fall writing retreat. I offer it again here to all of you:

    What I want to tell you is that you are not like most people.

    Most people would not be awakened at dawn by the beating of a drum and feel happy about it. Most people would not hurry through their yogurt and bacon to climb a hill and sit all day on a threadbare couch. Most people would not spend four days putting words in a notebook or listening deeply to the words other people spent four days putting in a notebook – and pay for the privilege.

    They would not weep in front of strangers, or talk about their sex lives, or say truth be told, I’m glad my parents are dead. They would not slow down enough to imagine rivers running beneath their skin, or their outbreath a ribbon of air that gives lift to the raven, or their bones redwood trees, or their heartbeats the container for love.

    Who would say I dropped acid and galloped around the neighborhood as a horse spirit?  Who would say I asked the ocean to make love to me and she did? Who thinks about collagen as peach juice, or allows talkback from a spider, or cares about a certain tree only because it’s important to an owl? Who loves water so much it falls from her eyes when she speaks of it?

    Most people would not cry because they feel sorry for a character they’ve just made up. They would not care so much about a pretend Indian on a pretend horse that they cannot move them forward for fear of what might befall them.

    Who loves like that over what most would perceive as nothing? Who loves over nothing so much it hurts?

    Writers do. Writers love like that.

    So this is what I want to tell you. You are not like most people. No one speaks the ceremony of life the way you do. It’s the way you see things, the way you turn them over in your hand, that one silky line that comes with the afternoon rain: “A drop falls, and I am born.”

    I know you are no stranger to this. The stories are in your bones and your blood and your breath. This is who you are. It’s the gift you have been given and the gift you give away. You are not like most people. You are the living story coming through.

    Susan Hagen is an award-winning nonfiction writer, writing teacher, and co-author of Women at Ground Zero: Stories of Courage and Compassion. Her writing programs are inspired by the vision quest, an annual journey into the wilderness that informs her life and work. As a writing guide, Susan combines meditation and nature-based practices to help clear a path to the deeper writing life. She offers writing retreats for women twice a year, and Saturday writing circles at her cottage in Occidental. Upcoming dates are January 18, February 22, March 15, and April 26. Contact Susan at suzhagen@sonic.net or 707-874-9223

  • Guest Blogger Amanda Socci: Getting Inspired by Food Boxes!

    Guest Blogger Amanda Socci: Getting Inspired by Food Boxes!

    If there is one thing that writers thirst for, it is inspiration. We have a constant need for things to speak to us, create magic for us, and fill our souls with ideas and information that will make us burst out of our skin and onto the paper. Inspiration is everywhere, but sometimes, writers tend to overlook the obvious, hoping to find deeper meanings in things.

    Today, I’d like to take this opportunity to lighten things up a bit by talking to you about an unlikely source of inspiration that appears to be boring or meaningless, but really, is just the opposite. That’s right, I’m here to tell you that food packaging is a friend to writers. All kinds of food packaging is interesting, but most specifically, I’d like to chat about cereal boxes.

    When you go grocery shopping, are you the functional, anal-retentive type who makes a list, sticks to it, and escapes the store quickly in order to run 35 other errands before the day runs out? If that sounds like you, you may wish to alter your strategy and get lazier, creative, and definitely more curious at the supermarket.

    Take a leisurely walk in the cereal box aisle. What are some of the things you might notice? Brand names? Varieties of cereals? Logos? Graphics? All those are good, but I need you to look further. Take the time to really read and pay attention to the writing that is on the cereal boxes. What kinds of things do you notice?

    Here are some of the things that should interest you:

    (1)  Seasonal flavors. Are you familiar with the styles of cereals and their turnover rate? Do you notice how different seasons bring about changes in the style and appearance of cereals or cereal boxes?

    (2)  Marketing promotions. This is a big one. Writers who are pop culture enthusiasts like me will particularly enjoy this one. Did you know that movies, television, and music offer tie-ins with cereals? Did you know you can collect boxtops and earn branded merchandise?

    (3)  Loyalty programs. Here is another big one that should be right up everyone’s alley. Are you familiar with the concept of loyalty programs? What are they? What are the benefits? Why should you participate?

    You may be asking yourself why you should care about cereal boxes so much if you don’t eat cereal. The real point is not to care about cereal or to have a desire to eat it, but rather, to look at cereal boxes with a different perspective. I encourage you to view cereal boxes, and really, all food packaging, as an easy source of inspiration.

    By taking the time to observe, look at the cereal boxes carefully, and read the boxes with a sincere interest and a natural curiosity, you’ll be doing more than turning into an expert-in-training. You’ll be investing in your career as a writer by giving yourself quick sources of inspiration that will get you motivated to write some really goof nonfiction pieces.

    What are you waiting for? Get ye to a supermarket today and start checking out those cereal boxes! One thing always leads to another and before you know it, you’ll have at least ten ideas for future blog posts, freelance articles, or other writing.

    Note from Marlene: Although Amanda’s post specifies cereal boxes as inspiration for writing, I couldn’t help add a photo from one of my favorite good groups:  Chocolate!  Now . . . go for it. . . get something from your pantry and do a 15 minute freewrite.

    Lindt2                              cereal2

     

    Amanda M. Socci is a freelance writer and blogger who affectionately describes herself as the Creative Idea Gal for her uncanny ability to come up with 1,000 ideas about any topic. Amanda eats, breathes, and lives all things creative. Easily inspired, Amanda also loves cooking, baking, crafting, photography, recycling, and line dancing when not busy caring for her two precious girls.

  • Guest Blogger Patti Trimble asks, “Who cares . . .”

    Guest Blogger Patti Trimble asks, and answers, “Who cares if I write?”

    Sometimes I ask myself, “Who cares if I write, who basically gives a damn anyway?” Then I remember this is a real question that should be asked with a radical change of voice. Who DOES care if I write? Exactly who am I writing for?

    Writing is a mode of conversation: If I don’t know who I’m talking to, it hardly makes sense to speak.

    Once, on a beach, not in this country, I watched twenty men pull in a surf net. At least that’s what I thought they were doing. For several hours I watched them pull—knee-deep in surf, hauling in two fat ropes that disappeared into the sea. As they inched backwards up the slope, one man jumped up; then some young people ran down to help pull. The town was into it because it was good work, hauling in sustenance from the depths.

    I wouldn’t, couldn’t, write if I didn’t have someone—the whole town, or a few friends—helping me pull in stories and poems. I need my audience and I appreciate them. I ask strangers if they care about my topic—and why. I ask editors. I ask my mom. When I write, I address my audience. If I feel their enthusiasm, I want to write generous explanations, a funny line, a personal insight.

    I also need to be honest about audience. If I was writing for the Nobel Committee, I’d have arranged my education, marriage, work schedule, and publicity machine accordingly. When I’m writing a love letter, I lower my voice . . .

    Try it, try asking, “Who the hell cares if I write?” with curiosity and a sense of adventure. Make a list. Test a story on a friend. Write for someone who needs a laugh. Has your daughter heard about your 1980s hairdo? Does the city need your opinion on the asphalt plant? When your heart jumps at the flying geese, who’s jumping up to help pull out a poem? Is it your writer friends, next week’s slam audience, Mary Oliver, or your dad?

    I’m just saying that writing is a collaborative process, and assembling your team makes things easier.

    Patti Trimble is a freelance writer and widely-published poet. She often performs her lyric poems with music, and will have a new CD out in 2014. Patti teaches writing for Arcadia University in Sicily and also in the Bay Area, including an inspiring “mini-memoir” class that begins Jan 21 at Sonoma State Osher Program, and two spring workshops through Pt. Reyes Field Seminars.

     

     

  • Guest Blogger Bella Andre couldn’t stand it anymore, so she . . .

    Guest Blogger Bella Andre shares what it takes to get writing.

    In the workshops I give to writers, I talk a lot about blocking out the white noise (email, Facebook, phone calls, prolonged internet searches for information you don’t really need to know to write your first draft, etc.) and putting on blinders so you can really give your focus to your book. This advice is a lesson I personally relearn with every single book I write.

    That’s the quick and pretty version, but if you pull back the glossy cover, the past 30 months actually look like this:

    * Decide to start my new book.

    * Do everything but start the book.

    * Make more big plans to start the book, for real this time.

    * Freak out about not starting the book.

    * Tell myself that tackling the non-writing items on my enormous to-do list is important, necessary work, so really, how could I start the book yet?

    * Tick through non-writing items on my to-do list and get crankier by the day.

    * Force myself to sit down with my laptop and stare at the blank page and not get up until I’ve written at least 1,000 words.

    * Finally realize (yet again!) that the number-one thing to help both my career and my peace of mind is sitting down and writing. Every single day. From one book to the next.

    Today’s start of Sullivan #12 was no exception. I went through every one of the above steps during the past two weeks until I simply couldn’t stand it anymore. When I woke up this morning, I decided the to-do list could wait. Answering emails could wait. A walk could wait. Eating could wait.

    But the book could not.

    I truly believe that no matter where you are in your writing career, the book is always the most important thing. For a new writer, finishing your first book will likely require great focus and determination. All you want is to finally get to “The End.” But once your book is out in reader’s hands, the most important thing will always be your next book. I’ve seen again and again, in both my own career and others, that the surefire way to create ongoing success is to write the next book. And the one after that. And the one after that.

    Once I finally push myself to start a new book, I always find that’s when the focus finally comes. Fortunately, day by day as I sink deeper into the manuscript, it becomes far easier to block out that white noise and keep focus on the writing.

    Happy writing! Bella Andre.

    Visit Bella’s Facebook Fan Page.

    This “Pep Talk” originally appeared on National Novel Writing Month’s website, nanowrimo.org

    Having sold more than 2.5 million self-published books, New York Times and USA Today bestselling author Bella Andre’s novels have appeared on Top 5 lists at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble and Kobo. After signing a groundbreaking 7-figure print-only deal with Harlequin MIRA, Bella’s Sullivan series are being released in paperback in a major global English language launch in the US, Canada, the UK, and Australia in continuous back-to-back releases from June 2013 through April 2014. Known for “sensual, empowered stories enveloped in heady romance” (Publishers Weekly), her books have been Cosmopolitan Magazine “Red Hot Reads” twice and have been translated into nine languages, and her Sullivan books are already Top 20 bestsellers in Brazil. Winner of the Award of Excellence, The Washington Post has called her “One of the top digital writers in America” and she has been featured by NPR, USA Today, Forbes, The Wall Street Journal, and most recently in TIME Magazine. She has given keynote speeches at publishing conferences from Copenhagen to Berlin to San Francisco, including a standing-room-only keynote at Book Expo America on her self-publishing success.

     

     

     

  • Guest Blogger Rachael Herron talks about the biggest failure . . .

    Rachael HerronGuest Blogger Rachael Herron talks about the biggest failure. . .

    Last night I went out with (as I think of her) my Young Writer friend. My favorite barista at my beloved but now defunct cafe, she has stars in her eyes about writing, and is applying to MFA programs all over the country. We ate sushi and talked about writing, and I remembered myself in her.

    When I was 25 — her age — I packed up my tiny Ford Festiva with its roller-skate wheels and headed to Mills for my MFA. I was going to light the world on fire with my prose. Or at least, I was going to write. And I lit a lot of things on fire, namely the cigarettes I was still smoking back then. I was giving myself two years in the ivory tower, two years to really focus on craft.

    Then, for those two years, I avoided writing as much as possible. I did the bare minimum, because that’s what we do sometimes, when it comes to what we love most, right?

    Artists don’t draw. Musicians don’t play. Writers don’t write. If we write, we fail (because when we’re learning something, DOING anything at all, we fail. Just part of the process). And as artists, we strive for perfection and failing is really not ideal.

    So we don’t write. I managed my 150 pages of a terrible novel for my thesis. I took an amazing dialogue class in which we read a book famous for dialogue every week and then wrote a three page scene in the voice of that writer (that did more for my skill with dialogue than anything else). I took a poetry class which almost killed me.

    Then I graduated and spent the next ten years also avoiding failure by not writing. Not writing = safe! Not writing = dreaming about the perfect words you’d string together if you just had time.

    What I didn’t realize was this:

    Not writing was the biggest failure of all. 

    No matter how spectacularly I screwed up in the writing itself (which I did! Still do! Spectacularly!), when I finally started to write everyday (thanks, NaNoWriMo 2006), I was succeeding!

    And seven years (JEESH!) later, I’m still writing, all the time. Every day. Even when I fail, I win.

    The job has gotten harder the more I learn. A rank amateur says LOOK I WROTE A BOOK YOU SHOULD READ IT OMG — a writer who’s spent years actively learning how to craft emotion out of words says, Well, you don’t have to read it. It’s the best I could do but it’s still not as good as Murakami. Maybe someday. *kicks rock* (Also known as the Dunning-Kruger effect *see below.)

    I’ve been both of those people. (Admission: I’ve been both of those people this WEEK.)

    But now, after publishing six books with two more on their way to shelves, I know I can do it. And I’ve changed my website a little bit because I want y’all to see that book up there to the left with its quotes and overview and all that because I’m proud of it and I’m excited for it.

    Pack Up the Moon. It’s literally the book of my heart, and it’s available for preorder right now. I’ll be releasing excerpts and reasons for you to preorder at my website, yarnagogo (gifts! prizes! kisses on the mouth if I see you IRL and you want one!) but the real truth is this: It’s a good book. It will make you cry, and then–I hope–it will help heal you a little bit. And maybe it will encourage you to write that book you have been wanting to write.

    I love the stars in my Young Writer friend’s eyes. The funny thing is I still have them, too.

    * “The Dunning–Kruger effect is a cognitive bias in which unskilled individuals suffer from illusory superiority mistakenly rating their ability much higher than average . . . Actual competence may weaken self-confidence, as competent individuals may falsely assume that others have an equivalent understanding.”

  • Guest Blogger Frances Lefkowitz – “Are your parents still speaking to you?” The Dangers of Memoir

    “Are your parents still speaking to you?”

    This question—a darn good one—comes up pretty much every time I do a Q&A. The short answer is “Yes.” My parents and siblings are all still talking to me; we still get together for holidays and birthdays and no blood gets shed. But this is not the case for other memoirists; I know several who are estranged from their families. Discussing family matters, revealing secrets, shining light on our most vulnerable and tragic moments including bad behavior or naive mistakes, and getting just our version into print, so it sounds like the official word on the subject: If this is what we do when we write memoir, then offending the people in our lives is one of our occupational hazards.

    The long answer is that this question is a great opportunity to discuss the distinction between the process of writing a memoir or personal essay and the process of publishing one. When writing, I don’t think about anyone, such as my parents, reading it, because I need to write freely and allow the thoughts, feelings, and images to emerge. Censorship in any form, including self-censorship emanating from a fear of hurting someone, hampers the creative process. But publishing–making this writing public–is a whole other story. When you get to the publishing stage, however, you have some decisions to make about what you are willing to reveal and risk in your life, for the sake of your art. When the memoir manuscript I’d been writing for ten or so years was finally about to become a book, I realized with a shudder that this was serious now, that the characters I’d been writing about were real people, with feelings and lives, that my looseness with words might accidentally hurt someone. So I gave it another close read, ignoring plot problems, repeated phrases, and awkward-sounding sentences to look solely at how I had portrayed the people in my life, especially the ones I wanted to remain in my life. Were there places where I tossed off a flip, and not really accurate, remark for the sake of humor or malice?  If so, was the result—a laugh, a cringe—worth the risk of insulting a real person? Sure enough, I found spots here and there throughout the book that felt rude, possibly hurtful, and most of them were not very entertaining or even very true. Many of these spots involved ex-boyfriends, some of whom I still love. Editing out insults turned out to be no sacrifice to the art of the work. What I nipped and tucked did not hurt the veracity of the memoir, and may even have improved it, because I applied an extra layer of empathy. And empathy is so crucial to a good memoir—and to good relationships, and to family Thanksgivings in which everyone comes out alive.

    Frances Lefkowitz is the author of TO HAVE NOT, a memoir about growing up poor in 1970s San Francisco which was named one of 5 Best Memoirs of 2010 by SheKnows.com. An award-winning and much published writer of fiction, personal essays, memoir, and flash fiction, Frances is also an editor, writing coach, and writing workshop leader. The former Senior Editor of Body+Soul magazine (aka Martha Stewart’s Whole Living), Frances is the book reviewer for Good Housekeeping and a manuscript reader for a leading literary agency. She blogs about writing, publishing, and footwear at PaperInMyShoe.com.