Guest Blogger Sharon Ziff writes:
I lost my gloves—the ones I bought in Venice last year. I loved them. LOVED THEM. How could I love a pair of gloves? They had a soft, fluffy pompom on the top. I liked to stroke them. It was like petting a kitty. Sadness. And upset with myself for losing them.
So I lost a pair of gloves. How could I feel this deep emotion for a pair of gloves? It’s the attachment to my experience in Venice and my love for the friend I was with.
Loss is a recurring theme in my writing. At times, I struggle to manage the intense feelings that accompany loss. There’s a burning sensation in my belly that I want to go away. I find myself thinking, “No, no, no,” while tears begin to flow. It’s not about the lost gloves; it’s about the impermanence of life.
To cope, I have established a gratitude practice, focusing on appreciating the little things. Friendships are crucial in supporting me through my feelings and creating a safe place for expression. I have friends with whom I can laugh after the tears have flown.
Meditation and journaling help me process my emotions and provide a calming effect. I also have a favorite playlist that serves as a therapeutic outlet, allowing me to reflect and connect with positive memories.
Change and loss are a part of life. Aging brings about losses with a decline in health. You may slow down and cannot do everything you did when you were younger. Retirement brought changes. You are adjusting to a new routine or lifestyle you may not have anticipated. Give yourself time. What are some of your passions that can still provide you with a fulfilling life? Focus on them.
We can be prepared for change and build resiliency as we age. Prepare for the practice of accepting what is.
As Frank Ostaseski writes in “Five Invitations,” Welcome everything, push away nothing. It doesn’t mean you have to like it. Then focus on what you can do.
Embrace the joys. As the song goes, “Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, and don’t mess with mister in between!”
Sharon Ziff, RN, spent twelve years as a Hospice Nurse where she learned about end-of-life issues and the importance of the preparations to die with dignity.
Sharon is certified in the “Authentic Presence: Contemplative End of Life Care Training,” a specialized program, and is committed to providing the Community Education Project called “Let’s Speak About Death.”
Links to The Write Spot Blog posts about loss:
“The Write Spot: Writing as a Path to Healing” contains lists of valuable resources, including the restorative power of putting uncomfortable memories to paper.
