1. Ke11y

    I always go to Costco
    To buy my toilet rolls
    Perhaps I’ll by a hot dog
    For more cholesterol

    Patiently I wait in line
    I could finish this new book!
    The cart in front is loaded
    I mutter some gobbledygook

    Chapter four is very sad
    I say, standing half the day
    I bought it for my wife, you see
    It’s Fifty Shades of Grey

    The guy behind me coughs
    His flem now flying free
    He sees I’m reading a saucy book
    I see he’s bought a tree

    Excuse me, do you mind
    Did I hear you go tut tut?
    Well, how come you cannot see
    Those branches up my butt!

    Chapter five is getting spicy
    Christian’s quite some cad
    Wonder if he shops at Costco
    With Anastasia scantily clad!

    1. mcullen Post author

      Omigosh, Kelly! This is hilarious! From the first line to the last = excellence. Thanks for the chuckle! Quite clever. 🙂

      1. Ke11y

        Thank you, Marlene:

        Clearly I don’t know my by from my buy! Bye

        1. mcullen Post author

          Chuckling . . .

  2. writer

    Shopping by Marsha

    The shopping gene did NOT skip a generation in my family. I LOVE TO SHOP! People who hate to browse stores, who don’t enjoy trying on shoes and dresses, those who complain about buying birthday, Xmas, anniversary gifts – these are not my people.

    I got it from both sides. My dad loved to haunt salvage stores and took me often on Saturdays. We’d have a blast getting up early, roaming through the sketchy parts of town. Sometimes we’d find an old chandelier that looked like it came from a haunted Victorian, or beautifully carved double doors from a French chateau. Our home was full of antiques that he and Mom had found scouring shops and flea markets.

    Mommy loved to take me clothing shopping. We’d start at the consignment and thrift stores and then proceed to the fancier places. Many times Dad would join us; he had worked on advertising campaigns for textiles for decades with an international company and had an excellent eye for fashion. Though frugal, they were both incredibly generous and treated me to lovely things even after I was grown with 3 kids.

    My grandmother adored shopping and she and my Papa owned a little general store in rural TN. Mama and Papa selected everything. It was the only shop for miles around and was a gathering place for the entire community.

    The closest “big city” to her was Chattanooga and she’d plan day long shopping trips there. Papa would gas up the Lincoln and Mama would fill a small Igloo with ice-cold glass bottle mini “CoColas” and away we’d go. There was no freeway so we’d go over the mountain on “The W,” a terrifying two lane highway with multiple switchbacks. (Terrifying because Papa often swerved into the other lane.) I’d be carsick every time and Mama would hand me a chilled Coke to wipe across my brow and sip to calm my stomach.

    Mama’s favorite place there was Millers Department store established by two brothers in 1889. Purchases were placed in a shiny yellow box with classic blue lettering. Mama was a tiny little thing, about 4’10” and had trouble finding shoes in her size so if she found something she liked she’d buy plenty. When she passed away, we found an entire closet full of beautiful tiny shoes still in their boxes!

    Today I shopped for hours and hit probably 10 stores. I used to spread it out but now that I live in a small town I make a trip to the big city about once a month and do a marathon of shopping. Just like my Mama and Papa did. I’ve come full circle. (;

    I started at Goodwill, moved to a Resale Boutique that benefits homeless women and children. Then The Almost Perfect Book Store to sell and buy novels. And on it went…..

    It’s midnight and I just got home a little while ago and finished putting everything up. I’m tired but very happy.

    1. mcullen Post author

      Marsha! What wonderful childhood experiences — exploring for great finds in sketchy neighborhoods, consignment stores, thrift stores and on to the fancier stores . . . what fun! And even though that mountain ride sounds stomach-upsetting. . . what understanding adults to bring along something to soothe the brow and tummy. I just love reading about your childhood. They are truly stories to be handed down. If you haven’t saved them on thumbdrive, scan disk or whatever, hope you do! . . . maybe print and keep in a binder. Great, great stories.

    2. Ke11y

      Yes, Marsha, a wonderful description of what shopping is like for someone who has the gene!

      I learned to be a good shopper, taught by my wife. Maybe I’m not a good shopper, just a good companion while shopping is in full swing. I’ve learned a few things along the way. One is never to offer a comment on the number of shoes in the closet! Never to even whisper a moan as to why my wife takes along a shoe suitcase on vacation, even though we are heading to Hawaii! I’m simply grateful that I was entering my late sixties before I ever put the words ‘Jimmy’ and ‘Choo’ together, and I can only thank the ‘God of Shopping Companions’ that he housed my wife and I three hours from the nearest Neiman Marcus store!

      Thank you for writing. Terribly enjoyable.


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