By Christine Renaudin
Two months into summer,
three in retirement,
one more kiss of the sun.
I am starting to feel the change in ways that do not rub me wrong, like a shirt grown too tight,
or a pair of new shoes
I am settling into a certain ease I didn’t know before, or I had forgotten.
There is hardly any rushing through things unless absolutely necessary in case of an emergency.
I walk the dog daily.
Three months into summer,
four in retirement,
signs abound, changes beckon.
I have trouble remembering what I did on a given day, and I resort to lists to keep track of the books I’ve read and places I’ve gone, so I can tell people when they are kind enough to ask.
Morning and afternoon melt in one another.
I glide along sweaty, in blissful abandon: losing sight of the shore no longer upsets me.
I don’t even worry the oar, but trust the sail will hold the wind, and the wind will show me to my destination.
Four months into retirement,
five into what feels like,
a whole other season,
I cannot be bothered to wear purple, put on a bra, a mask, a face, pick an outfit, apply lipstick, or even darken an eyebrow.
It’s too darn hot for the season, there are too many fires, time runs too fast to waste it on untruths.
Voting is a disaster.
Five months in,
the hell out of me.
Detachment has set in. I couldn’t care less about those many things that used to matter so
they dictated my every move and mood.
I’d rather light a candle for the latest friend who passed and for the one who hopes to last a bit longer.
I’d rather watch the flame settle into the night and pray.
Christine Renaudin’s writing has been featured in various publications by The Sitting Room, several of The Write Spot’s Sparks, as well as in The Write Spot anthologies: “Discoveries,” and “Musings and Ravings From a Pandemic Year,” available at your local bookseller and on Amazon (print and as an e-reader).
Christine lives, writes, and paints in Petaluma, CA. She is also a dancer. Her most recent performances in 2022 include Sunset in Spring (Fort Bragg), and The Show Show (San Francisco).
An avid practitioner of Contact Improvisation, she facilitates the monthly West Marin Contact Improvisation Jam at The Dance Palace in Point Reyes Station. She loves to see these various practices interact and inform her art-making process.