Uneasy? You’re not alone.

Today’s Guest Blogger Lara Zielin:

  I often have the feeling I’m in trouble.

It’s this pervasive unease, like I’m doing something wrong.

The problem is, I don’t know WHAT I’m doing wrong. Which means that if or when I get in trouble, it’s going to be a terrible surprise.

Because of this, I have my antennae up all day, scanning, looking, wondering what I could be doing that’s awful. I mind my P’s and Q’s and I try so hard to do everything right. I try to stay busy.

I try to be so, so good.

But some part of me knows it won’t be enough. Trouble is still a-comin’.

Which means by the time I get to the end of the day, there is this exhausted part of me that is BEYOND READY to feel safe. To feel good enough. To feel comforted.

That part of me wants to eat ALL the carbs. And drink. And scroll Facebook. And numb, numb, numb. Because it’s painful out there, people.

This feeling has only gotten worse during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Without regular face-to-face check-ins with colleagues and friends, the gnawing unease that I’ve done something wrong only grows. My hankering for carbs only grows. My addiction to Netflix and my phone only grows.

  That is, until I stop running and face the darkness. Until I open my arms to the fear and to the pain of thinking I’m not enough and just … sit with it.

I’ve been doing a LOT of writing around this lately. And I’m here for you if you want to do some writing around this, too.

Instead of trying to run from the darkness, let’s invite it in. Let’s listen to it. And let’s meet it with love.

  Because that’s the ONLY thing that’s going to help us feel better, feel lighter, and feel whole. If we run from the darkness, it will only continue to chase us. But if we embrace it, we can let it complete us.
To help us do just that, Lara is leading a free one-hour online group writing time on Thursday, April 23.