The Write Spot Blog by Marlene Cullen

Tag: Brad Yates

  • Something happened, and you weren’t the same . . . Prompt #780

    Use a pivotal event as a way into writing a personal essay, or a slice of your life . . .  a memoir, or creative non-fiction.

    A pivotal event is something happened and you weren’t the same after.

    Obvious pivotal events are graduating from school, first job, getting married, having a baby, retiring.

    There are more subtle events that, at the time, you didn’t know would be a pivotal event. Those are the events that could result in a riveting essay, or give you closure.

    Prompt 1

    Make a list of things, events, people that you carry in your mind. These are events that you can’t forget. People who haunt you. Memories that you can’t seem to let go.

    These are things you think about over and over, events that are on repeat in your brain. Things that happened that you can’t stop thinking about, maybe things you lose sleep over.

    Just a list. 

    Visualization

    As you go through this visualization, if you experience anxiety or stress, tap on your sternum with the tips of your fingers. This is a calming and centering activity.

    Stretch. Breathe in. Let go.

    As you go through this visualization, when you get a feeling jot it down.

     Note what the feeling is.

    Note where you feel it in your body.

    And note what caused this feeling.

    If you can, put your hand on where the feeling is and breathe into that space. If you can’t put your hand there, put your thoughts there.

    Go back in in time to when you were 3 or 4 years old.

    See the people surrounding you. Perhaps your parents . . . siblings . . . grandparents.

    Is there something about these people that stand out? Jot down thoughts or ideas that come to you while going through this visualization.

    Make a note where there is energy, perhaps an exciting or an uncomfortable feeling.

    Picture yourself at age 5 or 8. See your aunts . . . uncles . . . cousins. People you spent time with.

    Go to age 9 . . . 10 . . . 11.  Who did you play with? Go to school with?

    Teenage years. What did you do? Who did you hang out with?

    Let a montage of pictures roll by of dating and college years.

    Remember to tap on your chest if you are feeling uneasy or uncomfortable.

    Early married or living together years. See your children, or nieces/nephews as babies, little children.

    Take a deep breath and release.

    Prompt 2

    Choose one thing from your list. Write what happened. Include as many details as you can.

    Excerpt from Brad Yates, Guest Blogger on The Write Spot Blog:

    The Mind Can’t Tell The Difference

    #amwriting #justwrite #iamawriter

  • Sleep

    So, you had trouble falling asleep. Again.

    Or, you woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep.

    Or both.

    Why does this happen and what to do about it?

    The following is excepted from “Up at 4 A.M.?” by Amy Spencer, in the magazine, Dr. Oz The Good Life, Jan-Feb 2015 (an oldie, and hopefully a goodie).

    What happens

    If we’re not sure how something will play out, our primitive mind prepares us for the worst possible outcome.

    Survival

    Back in our cave days, our ancestors needed to be prepared to fight or flee to survive.

    Key

    The primitive part of the brain—the amygdala—thinks our idle ruminations are urgent matters that need to be dealt with right away, as if they are real emergencies.

    Wide Awake

    And there we are, wide awake, ready and alert, to battle the catastrophe that we have imagined.

    What To Do

    Take some deep, relaxing breaths.

    Get out of bed, walk around a little, look out a window, read something light.

    Write down what is bothering you, or make a to-do list. Get it out and onto paper.

    Take a mental vacation. Visualize a relaxing place, recreate a fun memory, take a trip down Happy Memory Lane.

    Soothe and Calm

    Listen to soothing and calming music, white noise, or a sleep app.

    Get Checked

    If sleep continues to elude you, seek professional help to rule out medical conditions to get to the cause of your sleeplessness

    And, of course . . . .

    Count sheep!

    ACTIVITIES TO CALM MIND AND BODY

    Qi Gong To Calm the Mind by Lee Holden

    The mind’s natural tendency is to ruminate on thoughts that produce stress or anxiety.

    Qi Gong provides powerful tools for calming the mind and returning to peace.

    Why is it that humans tend to think about things that cause stress and anxiety? Why can’t we naturally gravitate toward thoughts that bring us to a place of joy?

    Back when humans faced life-threatening situations on a regular basis, it was helpful to have a mind that could quickly identify unwelcome circumstances. The mind evolved to constantly look for signs of danger and plan for the worst. 

    The Mind Can’t Tell the Difference by Brad Yates

    In spite of all the encouragement to live in the present or focus on the future, most of us are likely to still spend a fair amount of time reviewing the past. And, more often than not, the moments we dwell on are not necessarily the highlights.

    It’s normal … but it isn’t without cost. Because the mind can’t tell the difference between something that is real and something that is imagined, just thinking about past troubles triggers the same chemical reactions and the same uncomfortable feelings.

    How to Write About Difficult Topics

     And so, we lose sleep over troubling events and difficult people. We can’t change people and we can’t change what has already happened. We can only change our own thinking. We can write about them to “give them air,” and release these thoughts onto paper (or computer monitor).

    But how to write about these difficulties without adding trauma?

    Perhaps one of these writing prompts will help:

    How to Write Without Adding Trauma

    Write What is Hard to Admit

    Does Your Heart Hurt?

    More ideas to write without adding trauma are in “The Write Spot: Writing as a Path to Healing.” Available from your local bookseller and as both a print and ebook from Amazon.

    Just Write!

  • Strategies For Stress Reduction

    By now, many of us know the drill to stay safe during the 2020 pandemic: Wash hands, wear a mask, and social distancing. But what about our mind, body, and spirit?

    “My lab’s study found the best recipe for dealing with everyday stressors is to try to simultaneously plan ahead about what you can control and stay in the moment mindfully.” —Shevan D. Neupert, Ph.D, “How to Soothe Your Soul,” August 2020 Consumer Reports

    The activities listed to soothe your soul in this article are the same as the restorative activities in the resource section of The Write Spot: Writing as a Path to Healing.

    ~ Prepare and plan. “Tasks that distract you now but also benefit you in the future are wonderful.” — Joyce A. Corsica, Ph.D, “How to Soothe Your Soul,” August 2020 Consumer Reports

    If you are working on a writing project, plan for the result. If you are submitting your writing to a publication, start with a projected date, then work backward to establish goal dates.

    Use the same strategy if you are publishing a book. Target a date for completion to send to an agent, or to self-publish. Work backward to set need-to-finish-by dates.

    First draft completed, revision completed, beta readers, proofread, ms to editor, etc.

    If you want to write, but haven’t started a project, start with a freewrite. Choose one of the prompts on The Write Spot Blog and just write.

    ~Just write freely with no worries about the outcome.

    ~ Nurture in nature. Walk outside. Open your door and breathe in fresh air, if you can. Look at nature out a window . . . a tree, a lawn, a garden. Go on a virtual tour of national parks.

    ~ Listen to music to soothe your soul or put on lively music.

    ~ Dance or move with the groove. Check out The World Groove Movement.

    ~Stretch.

    ~ Yoga. There are many free yoga youtube instructions.

    ~ Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT).

    ~ Hypnotherapy for relaxation and stress reduction.

    ~Searching for “help with stress” online resulted in 899,000,000 results. Overwhelming, yes. But you might find something to help with stress that you hadn’t thought of.

    Good luck with managing your stress during these turbulent times.

    I’m hanging in there with you.

  • Manifest with Brad Yates

    Brad Yates

    Today’s Guest Blogger is Brad Yates.

    In Manifestation 101 (& Taking Likely Action) Brad talks about a five-step process for manifesting what you really want.


    1. Create It
    2. Clear It
    3. Live It
    4. Let Go

    5. Likely Action

    Step One: Create It

    Decide what you really want.  Write it down. Start with something like:

    “I am so happy!  I have . . .”

    Then list the qualities and features of what it is you want (as if you already have them).

    It’s important that you write it in the present.  If you write “I want this,” then you are vibrating at a frequency of want – and the wanting of it is what you will continue to attract. You want to be vibrating in harmony with already having it.

    Write positive things, stating the positive aspect (what it has), rather than what it doesn’t have. If you write, “My new boyfriend isn’t a loser,” you are putting “loser” vibrations into the ether.  

    Rather than asking for money, focus on what you want to have. I focused on a trip I wanted to take, which I estimated to cost about $1,200. [And this is what Brad received.]

    Don’t limit the Universe by saying it has to be paid for in cash. If you want a new car – focus on the car. The money might show up, but you might also win the car.

    Once you’ve given the parameters of what you want, write at the end, “This, or something better – for the highest good of all concerned.”   Give the Universe an opportunity to give you something better and/or more appropriate – it knows better than we do.

    Step Two: Clear It

    Here’s where Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) comes into play. Too often we send contradictory energy, keeping what we consciously say we want at a distance from ourselves.

    Clear any contradictory thoughts.  The Universe picks up on them all. The biggest, in my experience, is: “I don’t deserve to have this.”  Tap on it, or use whatever other tools you might have for releasing blocks to your success.  

    You also want to be clear on your intentions. If you have doubts about your motives, you will either block the attainment of your objective, or limit your ability to receive it in a joyful manner. Make sure you want it for the right reasons (and only you can decide what is right for you.)

    Keep at this until you can think about the successful attainment of your objective without feeling any resistance.

    Step Three: Live It

    Now that you can think about the successful attainment of your objective without feeling any resistance – do so. Really think about having it – and allow yourself to enjoy that.

    Indulge in all the positive feelings you expect to experience while enjoying this thing in your life. Really feel how good it feels.

    Now would be a good time to tap yourself into trance and visualize yourself really enjoying your objective. As you do so, allow the positive feelings to wash over you and through you – feeling good in every muscle, nerve, fiber, tissue, cell and atom of your body.  Do this once a day – a daily reminder of what you are up to.


    Step Four: Let Go

    I also call this “Let Go and Let God.”  

    You need to be unattached to the outcome. Otherwise, you might start clenching your energy, asking “Where is it?”

    Not great attracting energy.

    A farmer doesn’t plant a seed, then stare at it in frustration hoping for it to grow. He does what he can to nurture it, but otherwise leaves it to nature to do what it does.

    Also, you don’t want to be attached to how it happens. You might be staring at a door waiting for that someone to walk in, and completely miss them because they came through the side door.

    Now, this doesn’t mean you don’t take action. Do what you can – let the Universe know you are serious about making things happen. Just don’t be surprised if the manifestation comes in a way that doesn’t seem to be directly related to what you are doing.

    Tapping can be very helpful with this step, too.  “Even though I feel I HAVE TO HAVE THIS NOW!!!.”  Let that go.

    If you’ve created your vision, cleared all internal objections to it, allowed yourself to experience living it and really feel how great it would be to have it – and it still isn’t showing up – then you need to trust that maybe it really isn’t in your best interest to have this objective at present.  

    But, “God’s delays are not God’s denials.”

    More often than not, there’s more clearing work to do. Abundance just is. It is all around. The extent to which we are not experiencing it is the extent to which we are resisting it.

    Stop resisting it.

    Manifest it.

    You deserve it.

    Step Five: Likely Action

    The Universe has many ways of making something happen – and yet we routinely limit ourselves to what we can think up on our own.

    Our job is to decide what we want, and focus on that in a positive way. Not to figure out how it is going to happen.

    That’s the Universe’s job.

    Instead of waiting until you know the right action, take a likely action, an action that is likely to move you toward your goal.

    Come up with lots of likely plans of action. Act on one of them.

    When thinking of your goal, ask yourself: “What could I do that might get me there?” No need to censor yourself – let the ideas flow, and ask of each, “Is this likely to move me in the right direction?” Then choose one and begin.

    Sure – you might make a mistake, and there may be consequences for that. You don’t have to be married to an idea – you can change strategies along the way. But there is a definite consequence for not taking action: you stay stuck.

    Decide what you want. Be clear. Then take likely action.

    That’s how the Universe knows you are serious about your intention. If you aren’t willing to move on it, the Universe may consider it just one of your countless whims. Show your commitment to your objective by getting going.

    And don’t be surprised as better ways to do it “magically” show up along the way.

    Now…what are you waiting for…? Get going! Do something now!

    Brad Yates is one of the top teachers of Emotional Freedom Techniques® (EFT), a quick, simple, effective method for overcoming fear and relieving stress. EFT, also sometimes referred to as Tapping, can help just about anyone dealing with anxiety and negative emotions.

  • The mind can’t tell the difference . . .

    Today’s guest blogger is the extraordinary Brad Yates, Emotional Freedom Technique Tapping (EFT) instructor.

    Reposted from his 8/19/2019 Email.

    Reviewing the Past

    In spite of all the encouragement to live in the present or focus on the future, most of us are likely to still spend a fair amount of time reviewing the past. And, more often than not, the moments we dwell on are not necessarily the highlights.

    It’s normal … but it isn’t without cost. Because the mind can’t tell the difference between something that is real and something that is imagined, just thinking about past troubles triggers the same chemical reactions and the same uncomfortable feelings.

    Given that we create our reality based on what we are feeling, you can see where this could be problematic.

    Each time we go through those unpleasant experiences, we hardwire those memories and feelings more firmly, making it more likely we’ll keep recreating the same kind of stuff. This phenomenon can be positive if you focus more on past victories, but that’s not what most of us do.

    Don’t worry… I’m not going to suggest that you force yourself to never relive past moments. That would be a pretty tall order. But I am going to encourage you to do a certain something when you find yourself playing those old tapes again…

    Tap. (I know… big surprise.) 😉

    When you tap, you are reducing the stress response. When you tap while reviewing a past memory, you can remove the uncomfortable feelings.  As you clear those away, it becomes safer to remember those events, because they will not cause you the same – if any—distress. No more negative vibes being put out into the cosmos. 

    In this way, you can change the past. You can’t change the events (as far as I know… but we don’t yet have all of quantum physics figured out) – but you can change your response to them. And it’s only your response to events —the thoughts and beliefs you have about them—that causes distress, not the actual events themselves.

    Tapping while reviewing past events helps you unlock the emotional patterns, giving you the freedom to reconsider what happened, and look at other possible meanings. 

    You can even decide to manufacture a positive meaning – something more empowering.

    (Note: you don’t owe it to anyone to stay stuck in a negative interpretation.)

    As you might imagine, this works as well with envisioning the future. When we think of possible future events with a negative expectation, we are stirring up the same toxic cocktail of chemical as when we dwell on past misfortunes. Again, tap when you find yourself doing this. Create the freedom to give yourself permission to imagine and anticipate great outcomes, then bathe in those good feelings. This definitely increases the likelihood of positive results.

    Be mindful of the kind of energy you are putting out there – it comes back. Give yourself the freedom to feel good and think more positively while reviewing the past and imagining the future.

    Change your mind, change your vibe. Change your vibe, change your life.  😊

    Thanks for reading! Please let me know how I might be of further service as you clear emotional pain and embrace the joyful success you so richly deserve!
    Be Magnificent! Brad

    Basic Recipe of EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) by Brad Yates

    The tool I primarily use in guiding folks to greater personal freedom is Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) – also commonly known as Tapping.

    It is a remarkable healing modality based on the same principles that have been used for thousands of years in acupuncture—but without the needles. EFT has been reported successful in thousands of cases covering a huge range of emotional, health and performance issues. It often works where nothing else does.

    Best of all, anyone can learn and use EFT in a relatively short amount of time, and achieve great results in relieving stress and other uncomfortable feelings.

    Brad Yates is known internationally for his creative and often humorous use of Tapping/EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques).

    EFT is a very flexible process and there are many ways to use it.

    www.TapWithBrad.com

    Write Spot blog posts to help when writing about a difficult topic:

    How to Write Without Adding Trauma    

    Why Write Your Story

     

  • You can be your own genie.

    What is it about your life that isn’t satisfying right now? Can you change that?

    Brad Yates, one of the top teachers of Emotional Freedom Techniques® (EFT), is today’s guest blogger.

    He wrote about “Granting Wishes Incrementally” in his November 2017 free monthly newsletter.

    Brad:

    Just for a moment, close your eyes, and imagine walking along a beach. 

    Imagine that you come across a lamp in the sand, and as you brush the sand off it, a puff of smoke emits from the opening, eventually growing and taking the form of a genie.

    “I will grant you any wish you desire. What is your command?” the genie says.

    So… if you could have a wish granted in this way, what would you ask for? 

    A huge sum of money?  A killer body? A dream vacation?

    Give it some thought.  Is that what you really want?

    Now consider this . . . Would you change your mind if the genie said in response to your request, “Okay, you’ve got it. However, it will take some time and probably some effort on your part?”

    Would you say, “Well, if that’s the case, no thanks, I’ll pass?”

    If not, then who needs a genie? You can grant your own darn wishes. (And, it’ll be more satisfying.) It’s just that they will be granted incrementally.

    The challenge of granting wishes incrementally is that there’s too much room to change your mind. Our actions at one moment may suggest that we are granting our wish of being financially independent, and then later it looks like we are determined to manifest a life of financial struggle.

    One moment we are taking great care of our body, and the next we are acting in a way that suggests we wish to be morbidly obese.

    I suppose that’s the allure of having a genie grant our wish – it manifests so quickly that we don’t have time to get in the way.

    Make a list of things you would ask for if you found a genie who was willing to grant your wishes. Could be a list of three wishes, could be a list of 25 wishes. Or 100.  Give yourself permission to think about the things you’d like to have.

    Then ask yourself if you would only want them if they could be delivered immediately and without effort.

    Ask yourself what you would choose to manifest, no matter how long it would take.

    Now notice where you might have conflicting wishes. Desiring fame and fortune is going to be tough if you also desire a quiet life of anonymity. This is where the incremental wish granting gets tricky, because there is too much time to switch back and forth between these contradictory desires. 

    Consider that this is why you may not have everything you want right now. You have the power of a genie within you… you also have the power to thwart yourself. Not because you are bad or stupid, but because you have contradictory ideas about what you want.

    Give yourself permission to choose, and tap to clear any resistance to doing so.

    You may also have contradictory ideas about what is safe and/or acceptable to have.

    With each item on your list of wishes, close your eyes, imagine having it, and say, “It’s safe to have this…” 

    Notice what you feel in your body, see how true this feels on a scale of 0 -10.  Write that number next to the wish. 

    You can also check the veracity of such statements as, “It’s okay for me to have this,” and, “I deserve to have this.”

    To the extent that it’s not a 10 (and if you haven’t already manifested this, or aren’t already in the process of doing so, it’s a pretty good bet that it’s not a 10…), ask yourself why you couldn’t or shouldn’t have this.

    Then take each of those objections and start tapping to clear them. As you do so, you will find greater freedom to do what it takes to get what you want . . . and greater freedom to allow them into your life.

    Congratulations, you are now in the process of incrementally granting your own wishes. And the more resistance you clear, the quicker the manifestation.

     No genie required. 😉

    Brad Yates is the author of the best-selling children’s book “The Wizard’s Wish,” co-author of the best-seller “Freedom at Your Fingertips,” a featured expert in the film “The Tapping Solution,” and has been heard internationally on a number of internet radio talk shows.

  • Brad Yates Inspires Action

    Note from Marlene: I have been helped and inspired by Brad Yates and his Tapping Videos. I hope you enjoy reading about his New Year’s Eve experience in Paris.

    Guest Blogger Brad Yates: Walking with a blind man

    From time to time we hear stories – or see videos – of differently-abled people doing remarkable things.  We may find these stories to be inspiring… and sometimes we might even find them challenging, as we confront how we may have allowed lesser hurdles than theirs to limit our lives.  We can allow ourselves to be shamed by these, or let them serve as wake-up calls to stop making excuses.  Naturally, I’d guide folks towards the second option.

    Most of the time, these stories come into our awareness in a fleeting way, and not a personal one.  More often, it’s someone we don’t know and will likely never meet, making it less likely to stick.

    Our 2017 ended with an up-close-and-personal encounter. 🙂

    My family and I spent the holidays in Europe, where I did workshops in London, Dublin, Prague and Paris.  It was a fantastic trip, filled with wonderful experiences, many of which involved meeting fantastic people.  This is one of them…

    We had chosen to be in Paris on New Year’s Eve, and decided to check out the Main Attraction – the celebration on the Champs-Élysées. We had taken a boat tour along the Seine, and returned to the Eiffel Tower just after sunset, arriving just in time for the spectacular hourly light show.  From there we walked up to the Arc de Triomphe.  It was still early, and people were just starting to gather. The roads were starting to close, and there were heavily armed and armored police – which was both intimidating and reassuring. The Arc was lit up with test patterns for the light show that would take place just before midnight.

    It looked like it was going to be quite an event … but it also looked like it would be very crowded … and it was raining … and we all agreed that we’d rather head home and watch it on TV while sipping champagne, which we wouldn’t be able to do there.

    So we headed down into the nearest metro station, which was packed. We noticed a woman holding the arm of a blind gentleman in his late-twenties, who made his way past us up to the glass doors at the edge of the platform as his guide disappeared, apparently having only been there to help him get to this point.

    My French isn’t great, but I could tell he was asking for some assistance. I don’t recall which of us explained that we didn’t understand, but he quickly responded in English. (We would later discover that he spoke five or six languages fluently!).  He explained that the glass doors in this station made him nervous, and was hoping for some assistance when the train arrived and they opened. The crowd in the station would make lots of folks nervous, even if they could see everything going on.

    It wasn’t long before a train came … and passed us by. Then another… and another. Then there was an announcement on the loudspeaker, and people started leaving the platform. Our new friend explained that this line was being closed at this station. He asked where we were going, and when we told him, he suggested a different line that also stopped at this station, and where to take that to get to another line to get to our desired destination. Even though he had never seen a metro map, he knew the different lines, where they stopped and where they connected. The alternate line he suggested would also take him in the right direction, so he latched onto Christy’s arm and suggested we head to that platform.

    Not long after we got there, there was another announcement, and people again started leaving. The whole station was being shut down. Our new friend said there was another station further down the road – at the Place de la Concorde, where we could find a train we needed. Although he was on my wife’s arm, he was the guide to the clueless tourists. A very different take on “the blind leading the blind.”

    As we walked along the Champs-Élysées, we learned that our new friend was named Hossein, and was from Iran. He was very friendly and charming and asked a little about each of us. When we said we were from California, he mentioned he hoped to go there someday and we’d find him swimming in the rivers. He said he loved to swim – “faster than a fish” – and had competed in tournaments.

    I was impressed. Far from feeling limited by his lack of sight, here was a young man who had studied engineering, was traveling the world, learning languages, getting to know people, doing things that could intimidate lots of sighted people (like going into crowded metro stations), figuring out complicated metro map… and apparently really living a full life.

    He also wasn’t afraid to ask for help – something so many of us struggle with. Obviously, it was something of a necessity, which may be why he had learned to do it so matter-of-factly and pleasantly.

    Eventually we arrived at the next station, and he insisted we leave him at a certain spot, as we would be going on different trains. He warmly shook hands with my son and me, and kissed my wife and daughter’s hands. Then began gently saying, “Excusez-moi…,” looking for the next person who could help navigate the way to the platform. We felt comfortable leaving when a Metro staff member came to assist him.

    It was a really lovely way to put 2017 to bed, and we were all touched by the experience.  It is my intention that his example of not making excuses will continue to inspire me in this New Year.  I hope it might do the same for you as well. You deserve a great life.

    Note from Marlene: Are you waiting to write? What’s holding you back? If you can envision it, you can do it, especially with inspiration from Tapping with Brad Yates.

    Brad Yates is known internationally for his creative and often humorous use of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT). Brad is the author of the best-selling children’s book “The Wizard’s Wish,” the co-author of the best-seller “Freedom at Your Fingertips,” and a featured expert in the film “The Tapping Solution,” He has also been a presenter at a number of events, including Jack Canfield’s Breakthrough to Success, has done teleseminars with “The Secret” stars Bob Doyle and Dr. Joe Vitale, and has been heard internationally on a number of internet radio talk shows.  Brad also has well over 700 videos on YouTube that have been viewed over 19 million times, and is a contributing expert on the Huffington Post.