The personal essay is an act . . .

  • The personal essay is an act . . .

    “The personal essay begins as an act of exploration. We write in order to figure out where we’re going and make sense of where we’ve been.” — Susan Bono

    Susan Bono is an extraordinary writer whose words go right to the heart. You can read her excellent writing in her collection of short essays in
    What Have We Here: Essays about Keeping House and Finding Home.

    Susan is a writing teacher and freelance editor specializing in memoir. She facilitates writing workshops at Copperfield’s Books in Petaluma. California.

  • You can be your own genie.

    What is it about your life that isn’t satisfying right now? Can you change that?

    Brad Yates, one of the top teachers of Emotional Freedom Techniques® (EFT), is today’s guest blogger.

    He wrote about “Granting Wishes Incrementally” in his November 2017 free monthly newsletter.

    Brad:

    Just for a moment, close your eyes, and imagine walking along a beach. 

    Imagine that you come across a lamp in the sand, and as you brush the sand off it, a puff of smoke emits from the opening, eventually growing and taking the form of a genie.

    “I will grant you any wish you desire. What is your command?” the genie says.

    So… if you could have a wish granted in this way, what would you ask for? 

    A huge sum of money?  A killer body? A dream vacation?

    Give it some thought.  Is that what you really want?

    Now consider this . . . Would you change your mind if the genie said in response to your request, “Okay, you’ve got it. However, it will take some time and probably some effort on your part?”

    Would you say, “Well, if that’s the case, no thanks, I’ll pass?”

    If not, then who needs a genie? You can grant your own darn wishes. (And, it’ll be more satisfying.) It’s just that they will be granted incrementally.

    The challenge of granting wishes incrementally is that there’s too much room to change your mind. Our actions at one moment may suggest that we are granting our wish of being financially independent, and then later it looks like we are determined to manifest a life of financial struggle.

    One moment we are taking great care of our body, and the next we are acting in a way that suggests we wish to be morbidly obese.

    I suppose that’s the allure of having a genie grant our wish – it manifests so quickly that we don’t have time to get in the way.

    Make a list of things you would ask for if you found a genie who was willing to grant your wishes. Could be a list of three wishes, could be a list of 25 wishes. Or 100.  Give yourself permission to think about the things you’d like to have.

    Then ask yourself if you would only want them if they could be delivered immediately and without effort.

    Ask yourself what you would choose to manifest, no matter how long it would take.

    Now notice where you might have conflicting wishes. Desiring fame and fortune is going to be tough if you also desire a quiet life of anonymity. This is where the incremental wish granting gets tricky, because there is too much time to switch back and forth between these contradictory desires. 

    Consider that this is why you may not have everything you want right now. You have the power of a genie within you… you also have the power to thwart yourself. Not because you are bad or stupid, but because you have contradictory ideas about what you want.

    Give yourself permission to choose, and tap to clear any resistance to doing so.

    You may also have contradictory ideas about what is safe and/or acceptable to have.

    With each item on your list of wishes, close your eyes, imagine having it, and say, “It’s safe to have this…” 

    Notice what you feel in your body, see how true this feels on a scale of 0 -10.  Write that number next to the wish. 

    You can also check the veracity of such statements as, “It’s okay for me to have this,” and, “I deserve to have this.”

    To the extent that it’s not a 10 (and if you haven’t already manifested this, or aren’t already in the process of doing so, it’s a pretty good bet that it’s not a 10…), ask yourself why you couldn’t or shouldn’t have this.

    Then take each of those objections and start tapping to clear them. As you do so, you will find greater freedom to do what it takes to get what you want . . . and greater freedom to allow them into your life.

    Congratulations, you are now in the process of incrementally granting your own wishes. And the more resistance you clear, the quicker the manifestation.

     No genie required. 😉

    Brad Yates is the author of the best-selling children’s book “The Wizard’s Wish,” co-author of the best-seller “Freedom at Your Fingertips,” a featured expert in the film “The Tapping Solution,” and has been heard internationally on a number of internet radio talk shows.

  • Pretend . . . Prompt #407

    Today’s prompt: Pretend.

    With this type of prompt, you can also write about the opposite . . .
    Let’s not pretend.

    Garden

  • Use these words . . .   Prompt #406

     

    Use these words in your freewrite:

    Instinct, illustration, melt, eighteenth, obligation, plunge, immune.

     

     

     

     

  • Your path . . . Prompt #405

     

    Write about a path you took, or a path you didn’t take.

    Write about a choice you made.

     

     

     

  • How do others see you? Prompt #404

    What do you look like to someone who doesn’t know you?

    Do you react, and then act differently because of some input you received from someone?

    How important is it to you how others see you?

    Write from your well of deep thinking or respond how your fictional character would respond.

  • Your dream of safety. Prompt #403

    What is your dream of safety?

    Inspired by “Leap Before You Look” by W. H. Auden

    The sense of danger must not disappear:
    The way is certainly both short and steep,
    However gradual it looks from here;
    Look if you like, but you will have to leap.

    Tough-minded men get mushy in their sleep
    And break the by-laws any fool can keep;
    It is not the convention but the fear
    That has a tendency to disappear.

    The worried efforts of the busy heap,
    The dirt, the imprecision, and the beer
    Produce a few smart wisecracks every year;
    Laugh if you can, but you will have to leap.

    The clothes that are considered right to wear
    Will not be either sensible or cheap,
    So long as we consent to live like sheep
    And never mention those who disappear.

    Much can be said for social savior-faire,
    But to rejoice when no one else is there
    Is even harder than it is to weep;
    No one is watching, but you have to leap.

    A solitude ten thousand fathoms deep
    Sustains the bed on which we lie, my dear:
    Although I love you, you will have to leap;
    Our dream of safety has to disappear.

    Photo by Kent W. Sorensen

  • Someone you were drawn to.  Prompt #402

     

     

    Write about a person you were drawn to.

    It could be a real person or a fictional character.

     

     

     

     

     

  • A Special Gift

    Today’s guest post is by Nancy Julien Kopp. I have been enjoying Nancy’s posts on her blog, Writer Granny’s World.

    Nancy writes:

    Here we are in the last month of the year and one of the busiest. I went to a Christmas party Friday evening and a Christmas Tea at my church Saturday. Definitely getting me in the mood for the season.

    One of the things the hostess of the tea did was ask each person to tell about a Christmas gift that was very special. What a delight it was to listen to the 25-30 women share details about the time and circumstance of their gifts.

    Stories ranged from engagement rings to dolls to pets and a few other things. Many prefaced the story by mentioning that there were very few presents given in their family when they were children because money was short. One woman told us about the Christmas her parents had no money for gifts so her mother made each child something from whatever she had on hand. This woman received twin rag dolls that turned out to be one of her very favorite gifts ever.

    As the memories came alive, I couldn’t help but wonder if any of these women had written the story somewhere for her family. Had she ever even told her own children or grandchildren about that special gift? It’s precious memories like this that should—no, must—be recorded. As we moved from woman to woman and listened to their memories, I thought that many of them could turn into a story for a Chicken Soup for the Soul book. But would they? Most doubtful.

    I wanted to tell each one that they had a great story and I’d write it for them. But, no, that would not be the thing to do. She should do it on her own.

    How about you? What Christmas or Hanukkah memories have you written about for your family or for publication? Why or why not? There are reasons for both sides. I did write a memory of a special gift I received when I was six years old. It was published in one of the Chicken Soup for the Soul Christmas books quite a few years ago. I’ll post it below. Maybe it will trigger a holiday memory for you and give you something to write about for your own family or for another Christmas anthology.

    Note from Marlene: Please do write your story . . . for fun or for someone to read. Just Write!

    My Special Christmas Doll

    A special doll named Katherine lives in my four-year-old granddaughter’s room. The doll perches on the window seat, arms out and head cocked a bit. Muted red polish covers her fingernails, and a few of her fingers and toes are chipped. The doll’s dark blonde hair could use a bit of attention, for it looks limp and badly in need of a stylist.

    “This was my mommy’s doll,” Jordan tells me.

    I pick up the doll, smooth the flower-print flannel gown she wears. “A long time ago, she belonged to me.” I give Katherine a little hug and place her on the window seat again.

    Jordan grasps my hand. “I know that, Grandma. Will you tell me about her?”

    I scoop Jordan into my arms. “Time for bed now, but maybe tomorrow we’ll talk about Katherine.” I tuck her into bed and kiss her twice.

    Later that evening, I sip a cup of tea and think about the doll Santa brought me more than sixty years ago. The decades slip away like quicksilver, and I am six years old again. My parents and little brother are asleep, still snuggled under warm comforters, but I’m tip-toeing down the hallway early on Christmas morning. It’s so quiet and very dark in the hallway, but I know my destination and continue on.

    When I reach the living room, the early morning light filters through the windows. I kneel in front of the decorated Christmas tree, and a little shiver runs up my spine. It’s cold in our apartment, but the shiver comes from what I spy next to the gaily wrapped packages. Santa left me a beautiful doll looking very much like Shirley Temple. She’s dressed in a bridal gown made of a snowy, gossamer material. Tiny satin rosettes run from waist to hem, and lace adorns the neckline and sleeves. The matching veil, trimmed in lace, surrounds her head like a billowy cloud. A white nightgown and soft blue robe lie beside her. It’s the kind seen only in the movies. So pretty! Her dark blonde hair curls to perfection, and her eyes appear to glow. I inch as close as I dare, for I know I should not touch her yet, not until Mommy and Daddy wake up. For now, the anticipation of holding her seems to be enough. I name her Katherine while I wait for my family to wake up.

    Years later, I learned that my mother had made the bridal gown and night clothes for the doll in the late hours on December nights. My grandmother was the one who took hair she’d saved from my mother’s first haircut to a specialty shop where they created a wig for my doll. Hearts and hands joined in this special gift.

    I played with Katherine for many years, then saved her in hopes I might pass my special doll to a daughter someday. My daughter, Karen, loved the doll too, even though she no longer had the original clothes. Once again, Katherine made a little girl happy. Karen secreted the doll away in hopes that she, too, could pass her on to her own child someday. Now, Karen’s daughter, Jordan, is the keeper of the doll. Though a bit tattered, Katherine’s smile is just as sweet, and her blue eyes still appear to shine. Even her wilted curls are precious to me and to Karen.

    I think one day Jordan will feel the same, for she is our special family doll and always will be. I will tell my granddaughter about the Christmas I found Katherine under the tree, and later, when she’s older, I will relate the part of the story about Jordan’s great-grandmother who made special clothes for Katherine, and about her great-great-grandmother who saved her child’s hair to make into a wig for a doll.

    This one cherished doll holds five generations of my family within her heart. Two created her, three have played with her, and all have loved her. I hope Jordan will have a daughter one day so that this chain of love might continue.

  • This happened . . . Prompt #402

    Today’s prompt is inspired by a talk Ianthe Brautigan gave on March 5, 2001.

    Memoir is a journey. Just because it’s your life, don’t think you know the end. A beeper could go off and change everything.

    Life is like a box of chocolates . . . you don’t know what you got until you bite into it. Sometimes your life makes sense after you write and digest your findings.

    Ianthe suggests writing a memoir in an unusual way, not “this happened and then that happened.”

    To start: Write excerpts from your past. Write your stories. Don’t worry about where they will go.

    Tell your story as if sitting around a campfire.

    If you need inspiration:  Make a collage from magazine articles/photos about what you want to write about. Look at these when you need a nudge to write.

    Once you start writing, let go of how you should write. Relax into your writing. Your heart knows what to write about. Allow it.

    Ianthe suggests thinking of the clothesline structure:  Two strong posts at ends. One is for the solid introduction. The other post is for the solid end. Then play around with insides. Move your stories around as you desire.

    Writing Prompt: Think about your childhood. Write about whatever your mind flashes on.

    Prompt:  This happened to me . . .

    Examples of excellent memoirs:

    To Have Not by Frances Lefkowitz

    imperfect endings by Zoe Fitzgerald Carter

    the underside of joy by Seré Prince Halverson