Is this it for me? Is this as far as my life will go? The note on the door infers as much. It’s a green door. Solid.

‘Kelly, enter only if you have the gift of faith.’

I’m expected. Weird, I don’t feel like I’m dying. There were times when I wanted to; when I was afraid, but it passed. If I’d been privileged to see the book of fate at twenty, the note might have scared me, but I hadn’t and now I’m not surprised to find it. You only get so far in life before payback time.

Yesterday, the boss sent for me.

Before I enter, know this: the sun is shining. High above the London streets, pigeons are wheeling round and round in the blue winter sky. I watch until the noise of a London bus passes by, bringing me out of my daze. On the side of the bus an advertising banner reads: Laugh and the world will laugh with you. Ah, if I could just have made it till springtime.

Do I knock?