Category: Sparks

  • The rhythm of —

    The rhythm of —

    by Kshatriya

    AAAAAHHHHHHH!

    with my whole chest. with all my breath. from the tips of my toes to the top of my head. with all the air in my lungs. with all my energy. with all my might.

    AAAAAHHHHHHH!

    from the fallen-beaten position. from the standing fists-clenched position. from the deepest well. from the tallest building.

    AAAAAHHHHHHH!

    with the loudest primal voice. with the softest breathless sigh.

    AAAAAHHHHHHH!

    in the brightest sunlight. in the deepest darkness. in the warmth of my soul. in the coldest part of my heart.

    AAAAAHHHHHHH!

    for the saddest little girl. for the pissed-off woman. for those who never get the chance to scream. for those who can’t stop screaming.

    AAAAAHHHHHHH!

     is a soul-deep, full-body sound that brings peace and starts battles. is the soundtrack in my mind and the rhythm of my blood.

    AAAAAHHHHHHH!

    Deserves its space. Deserves its voice. Deserves to be heard.

    Kshatriya Colet Millick is a labor advocate based in Sonoma County. With a background in counseling and labor relations, Kshatriya brings a perspective shaped by her tumultuous childhood, her work alongside people whose voices have been dismissed, and her commitment to fairness and justice.

    Her writing explores living with emotions in a chaotic world, with an emphasis on self-reflection and living with darkness.

    When she’s not writing, she enjoys reading dark morally grey books, hanging out with her furbabies, spending time with her nieces and nephews, and having deep conversations sprinkled with dark humor and laughter.

  • Senses

    Senses

    By Patricia Morris

    HOME sounds like silence, broken by a refrigerator hum, cackling chickens from next door, the occasional helicopter or small plane buzzing overhead. Home sounds like music sometimes. This afternoon it was Dave Mason, a live album from 1976 that my boyfriend and I listened to on lazy afternoons while smoking joints. Since I live by myself these days, at the end of a dead-end street, with double-paned windows, I do spend a lot of time in utter silence.

    FEAR smells like sulphur, a match struck and then extinguished. Fear smells like an ice cold snowy morning, sharp and clarifying. Fear smells like aluminum. Like dead fish in a swimming pool, belly up. Fear smells like a sweaty wrestling mat, like ammonia, like skunk spray drifting into my bedroom window and making my eyes burn in the middle of the night.

    DANGER tastes like moldy bread. Like a stiff shot of whiskey. Danger tastes like Pop Tarts; French fries; sometimes like a sheet pan birthday cake from Safeway, the way its sickly sweetness lures you in. Danger definitely tastes like Trader Joe’s Garlic Butter Irish Potato Chips, so addictive you eat a whole bag when you only intended to have “a couple.”

    SAFETY feels like a down comforter, like a long, warm hug from my brother. My brother is the best hugger I know, which never fails to surprise me. Safety feels like going somewhere (voluntarily) with a firefighter or a [trusted] police officer – people who are trained to respond in an emergency. Safety feels like a warm, dry home when it’s raining outside, a warm coat, a warm meal.

    SECURITY looks like yellow caution tape establishing a boundary. Security looks like money in the bank, like a doctor’s after-visit summary with no adverse findings. Security is a mirage.

    Patricia Morris enjoys her silence and writing about everyday life in Petaluma, California.

     Her writing has appeared in Rand McNally’s Vacation America, the Ultimate Road Atlas and The Write Spot anthologies Possibilities and Musings and Ravings From a Pandemic Year, edited by Marlene Cullen.

    She loves road trips, the Grateful Dead, and Dogen.

  • Losing Beauty Saved My Skin

    By Julie Sherman

    The mean girls of the garden were stingy with their gifts. Flowering slowly, one bud at a time, then a second and a third they opened, and I tried to make friends with them. But the roses, all of them, pricked and tore and stabbed me with their vicious thorns even through gloves and long sleeves. So I chose to lose them. Let someone else try to tame these She-Devils, these beguiling multi-petal lace-edged beauties whose perfumed faces lured me in, soft as a new lover’s kiss, then stabbed with a pen knife if I leaned too close.

    At least Edgar could get along with them. I offered all four blossoming sisters to him – take the pots even because I refuse to dig them out and let them to puncture me more. Here. Take ’em. Maybe you can tame them. At least they will go to a home that is not afraid of a cut or two or four.

    I check in with Edgar weeks later. He loves them. They are blooming greedily, hungry for his love, and they seem to adore him. The pinks are shimmering, the reds are ruby and glistening in the sun. He respects them, waters in just the right places where their faces smile up at him. I guess I didn’t give them the respect they deserved. My scratches have healed, dried blood hardened and fallen off in the shower with a good scrub, lotion on my skin to smooth the scabs.

    I gave away their prickly beauty, replaced them with thirsty hydrangeas who seem happy to see me, their sphere of delicate petals in purple, blue, and fuchsia. They are abundant and fill the containers, growing happily, gently promising never to hurt or stab me.

    I lost the royalty of the roses, the haughty, nose-in-the-air kind of beauty that fascinates the masses, and traded them for the commoner who is kind and forgiving and doesn’t protest when touched. At least my skin is soft again, smooth like hydrangea leaves that welcome my pruning and watering. Indeed, sometimes when I walk into my garden, it appears that the hydrangeas are actually happy to see me. Let Edgar tame the mean girls. I’ll hang with my gal pals.

    Julie Sherman is a long-time Petaluma resident who loves to write, read, bake, and travel the world with her husband, bassist Jeff Sherman.

    A native San Franciscan, Julie is a mentor with Mentor Me of Petaluma and a member of the Petaluma Postcard Pod, an organization that supports democratic candidates, principles and ideals.

    The mother of twin girls, opera singer Camille Sherman and music producer Emily Sherman, Julie resides in a little house with her husband, two cats, and a dog.

    When not getting beat up by her garden, she enjoys reading in her modest backyard among the blooms.

  • Petaluma June

    By Karen Handyside Ely

     

    Petaluma summer morning.

    Cool, brisk, velvet fog

    blankets Sonoma Mountain shoulders,

    Leaving only the soft domed tops revealed,

    Rising in the mist.

     

    Motivating chill in the air.

    Bare feet pad across icy bathroom tile

    Happy to be encased in wooly Ugg boots

    Sweatshirts pile on easily, welcome companions

    Urging action.

     

    Nothing lazy about summer mornings in P-town.

    Weeds beg to be pulled from soft damp ground.

    Strawberry starts need new homes, replanted in

    neat square holes left by trowel and spade.

    The race is on to beat the heat.

     

    Bees still slumber, but hummingbirds flit

    perilously near my ear, offering

    divebomb greetings in the grey haze.

    Looking for their sugary breakfast in the early a.m. 

    Sunshine and warmth will come later

    Bathing the day in golden rays

    With the power to burn off a

    misty Petaluma morning.

     

    But for now, the fog insists on the hard work of

    gardening before the glow of noon.

    P-town is a strict taskmaster on summer mornings. 

    There are some who say that Karen Handyside Ely was born with her nose firmly planted in a book. She is a life-long lover of unusual words, lilting phrases, and absurd stories.

    After a brief stint as a credit analyst in San Francisco and New York City, and a 30+year career as a mom and “professional” volunteer in Scottsdale, AZ, Karen retired to her beloved hometown of Petaluma, CA.

    She delights in difficult crossword puzzles, singing with Petaluma Choirs, and anything baked by her husband James.

    Karen has been published in several Write Spot books: The Write Spot to Jumpstart Your writing: Discoveries, The Write Spot: Reflections, The Write Spot: Possibilities, The Write Spot: Writing as a Path to Healing, and The Write Spot: Musings and Ravings From a Pandemic Year.

  • Buster Brown

    Buster Brown 

    By Robin Mills 

    We pile into our white station wagon with the faux wooden siding, and head down the winding roads of The Canyon to The Valley. “The Valley side of the hill” as my parents call it, in contrast to “The City side of the hill” where the gated mansions of Beverly Hills and the mirrored skyscrapers of Century City sit.

    My mother takes the curves of Laurel Canyon Blvd., hands at 11 and 1 on the steering wheel, and an eye in the rear-view mirror, just in case. My brother and I slide side to side across the blue back bench seat, jamming into each other and up against the cool metal of the doors which feels soothing against the August heat. 

    We reach Ventura Blvd and the flats. To my right is the carwash with a blue, baby elephant on top, showering herself from her trunk, a pink bow where her curly-girl hair would be if she were an actual girl. Across the street is Thrifty’s, its name in white cursive letters like we are learning in school, where they serve cylindrical shaped scoops of ice cream in cones. Diagonally across on the other corner is a Ralph’s shopping center where we pull in. 

    We pile out, unprompted by my mother, and race up the stairs, throwing our collective weight against the metal door opener.  

    We are in. 

    Buster Brown’s Shoe Store is a long, narrow hall like room. The mulchy smell of leather and sneakers wafts over us. The walls are lined floor to ceiling with shelves of shoes: black and white saddle shoes, red Keds, white Keds, high tops, low tops, pink sparkly party shoes, shiny black shoes like the boys wear in temple, sandals with plastic daisies on the straps. Floor to ceiling, farther than we can see.

    Ed is always there. He wears a thin white short-sleeve button up over a white t-shirt, brown pants, leather belt, shiny black shoes and slicked back hair that curls at the ends just above his color. He drops his chin and smiles a full mouth of white teeth.

    He pats two seats and we oblige, climbing up, flipping around and plopping ourselves down. He smiles at my mother as he grabs the metal stool with one hand, not even looking, sliding it between his legs as he sits all in one motion. We sit facing him, our socked feet kicking in the air, staring at the slider and markings 1, 2, 3, 4,5 on the slanted part where we put our feet. 

    With one hand on the back of my calf, he places my heel into the curved metal, then lowers the slider to my toes. “Look at you and your growing feet!” he says, one eye on my mother who stands back holding down her smile, one arm dangling, the other clasping it across her body. I give him my best two-missing-front-teeth smile gloating in my accomplishment.

    My brother gets black high-tops and I pick saddle shoes. Ed walks with us in tow to the counter, and hands us each a lollipop one eye still on my mother who stares down into her purse. She pays. He hands her two bags with boxes of shoes, holding them just a second too long.

    She holds the door for us as we race out. One last stop next-door at Weby’s Bakery where we choose cookies the size of our faces covered in rainbow-colored sprinkles that rain down on the blue bench back seat as we wind our way home.

    Robin Mills lives in Petaluma, California. By day, she’s an American Sign Language interpreter. When not working, she enjoys competitive swimming, hiking, photography, traveling, working in various art forms and swing dancing. Publications include Underbelly Press, The 200 Word Short Story and The Write Spot. She was a finalist for publication in Big Brick Review.

  • Something About Everything

    Something About Everything

    By Doug Newcomb

    When I was a boy, everything around me was a mystery.

    I assumed that as I grew, I would understand more.

    But then I did grow, and the sense that it all made to me was much less than I expected.

    So much less that I waited, disappointed, for experience to guide me.

    I learned to accept little and expect less, but tried to feel it all

    until time layered so much daydreaming over retching and reverie upon heaving that

    experience finally taught me I should be hopeful – grateful, even –

    to unlearn all that I might know, so that I might see the world as a new thing, each day.

    I have doubts about this.

    About everything, I have doubts,

    and I don’t think the world cares much for another mystery.

    The world, much like me, wants easy answers,

    but easy answers are hard to find, let alone the true ones,

    and are increasingly difficult to hold on to once found.

    I don’t know what to think about the truth anymore, and my doubts now are that I’ll ever find a

    solution for anything, but

    there might be a place ahead where I can see that a foot fell before mine. Where another fool,

    like me, has travelled, blind and dumb and aimless.

    There’s no footprint heading back, so there is hope,

    and while I remain unwise and undeserving,

    I pray to only find a path.

    Douglas Newcomb grew up in the Sierra Nevada foothills, and has lived in Sonoma County since 1999. His interests and creative pursuits vary widely, but writing has long been a favorite method of understanding and exploring his experience in the world.

  • Hailing Sleep

    Hailing Sleep

    By Ken Delpit

    Something I don’t do,
    But I used to, readily,
    Is sleep through the night.

    These days, not the case.  
    Now, it’s hour by hour,
    Two, if I’m lucky.

    Lying anxiously,
    Awake, but testy for sleep,
    Like hailing a cab.

    Up on a wet curb,
    Leaning out, striking a pose,
    Hey! I need a ride!

    If only you knew,
    Your sleep is hunting for you,
    As if you’re its cab.

    Will you find your ride?
    You crane your neck, raise your hand.
    Or, will it find you?

    In addition to pausing statue-still upon entering a room, and trying, often in vain, to remember why he just went in there, Ken Delpit undergoes daily reminders of aging. In this piece, Ken, ahem, “celebrates” yet another byproduct of geezerhood. 

  • Can’t Help but Wonder

    Can’t Help but Wonder

    By Ken Delpit

    Can’t help but wonder
    What’s to become of us all.
    Can’t say it’s a blunder
    When it’s done as resolved.

    Can’t help but remember
    In protests of the past,
    April or November,
    Beaten, jailed, tear-gassed.

    Can’t help but make note that
    Huge prices were paid.
    Wasn’t no joke that
    A nation’s guts were be-splayed.

    Can’t help but recall hope,
    Despite most precious tolls,
    Light cleansed then, like soap,
    Baring leaders without souls.

    Can’t help but recognize
    Times are so not the same.
    What now affronts open eyes
    Seems to carry no blame.  

    Can’t help but lament
    Now, leaders duck and cower.
    They grease our descent
    And, deny us our power

    Can’t help but feel helpless
    I hate that it’s so
    We used to clean up our mess
    Now, it’s just part of the flow.

    Bio:

    In the troubled times that opened the twenty-first century, Ken Delpit recalls the troubled times of the 1960s and 1970s.

    It would seem that turmoil and protests are book-ending his life. He is struck, not only by the similarities, but even more by the differences between then and now, especially by the differences in how we, as a nation, react to and handle the troubles. 

  • Calculus

    Calculus

    By Deb Fenwick

    I show up at dawn, stepping into the murky slipstream of a new day, considering whether a patch of sunrise or a bruise of blasphemy will win. Every day there’s some calculus to work out. Read the breaking news or not. Watch the video or not. Tie myself in knots. Or not. 

    It’s twenty-three degrees in this Midwestern city of big shoulders, and there aren’t really any streams near me. But if there were, they’d be frozen deep in the center, like winter amber. We, the huddled—bundled masses, insulated in layers of synthetic fleece, put on our Costco gloves, one finger at a time. We like to believe we’re sturdy stock. But we’re all just small creatures trying to stay warm, crawling our way to the next thing and the next thing. Make it home. Safely. Alive.  

    February midday is breath made visible. The sky, brilliant blue for miles, is unmarred by streaks of clouds. Yet, I’m squinting West, far beyond my gaze, double-checking the horizon, checking the weather app on my phone. You can’t be too careful. 

    At half past four, I’ll try to work out the math. Can I add more? Can I divide myself into two? What’s the formula for holding fast to hope? It’s so easy to forget.     

    Here’s a word problem: If I call on seven generations of ancestors to save me—save us all, add a psalm, two hymns sung on the way to the supermarket, and promise to pray five times, is it enough to subtract any trace of doubt that each of us is particle, wave, and light just trying to make it home?

    Tonight, as the moon shines its bonebright light through the sheer fabric of another day, I’ll revisit the whispering, white-on-white, ghost-ink ledger that haunts me. What did I say? What have I done? What’s been left undone? Was it too little? Too much? Despite it all, I’ll make a vow to rise tomorrow, remembering what it’s like to be a clear blue sky, wide open, unmarred, even when, deep in the center, I feel frozen like winter amber. 

    Deb Fenwick is a Best American Essays Notable and Pushcart-nominated creative nonfiction writer who coaches women and individuals from traditionally underserved communities using the healing power of art, imagination, and dreamwork.

    Her essays have been published in Hippocampus Magazine, In Short: A Journal of Flash Nonfiction, Cutleaf Journal, Cleaver, and elsewhere.

    You can read her work and reach out to her here. 

  • The Last Waltz

    The Last Waltz

    By Kathy Guthormsen

    There’s nothing quite like waltzing through the kitchen with a refrigerator and a mop, sweeping and gliding through pooling water to get your heart pumping in the morning.

    The refrigerator had been sick. First came a fever that caused all the food – and it was full of food because the kids were visiting – to thaw and warm. Then it exhaled and released the freon from its pipes. That was last week, before the fridge doctor came to try to revive it. This morning, it gasped its last breath, lost control of its plumbing and poured water onto the floor. Hence the waltz.

    I summoned my inner Wonder Woman and wrestled the thing out of its cubby. It did not want to move from its bed, but I wasn’t going to take NO for an answer. I managed to turn off the water before grabbing an armful of towels and the mop and asking the fridge to dance. We sloshed and twirled and I mopped and wiped. Now, the forlorn and lifeless fridge is sitting in the middle of the kitchen waiting for the appliance morgue van to take it away.

    I hadn’t even had my second cup of coffee yet.

    A new fridge is coming this afternoon.

    Growing up in Skagit Valley, Washington with its verdant farmland gave Kathy Guthormsen an appreciation for the promise and beauty of nature’s bounty. The Cascade and Olympic mountain ranges and old growth forests offered the magic of things unseen and fostered her fertile imagination.

    Kathy’s writing has been published several times on The Write Spot Blog and in four The Write Spot anthologies.

    Her Halloween story, “Come, Calls the Demon” won first place in the Petaluma Argus Courier’s Halloween Story Contest in October2020.

    Her book, The Story of Jazz and Vihar, is available from your local bookseller.

    When she isn’t writing, Kathy volunteers at the Bird Rescue Center in Santa Rosa, California, working with and presenting resident raptors as part of their education and outreach program. Walking around with a hawk or an owl on her fist is one of her favorite pastimes.

    Kathy lives in northern California with her husband, one psychotic cat, a small flock of demanding chickens, and a pond full of peaceful koi. She maintains a blog, Kathy G. Space, where she occasionally posts essays, short stories, and fairy tales.